Sunday, November 21, 2010
Carter almost 6 months
Laughing, smiling. Still having trouble through the night. The last month has brought the first cold. Carter is just a super happy baby.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
'Nina is here...quick trip to Vegas...houses
Christina came in to be with us on 10/13. We're so happy to see her! The boys were so excited and I took Carter with me to go to the airport. Makes me smile to know she's here for a couple of weeks. Brandi came on Thursday and Friday to show 'Nina the ropes. 'Nina is taking over caring for the little guys and spending time with us.
The next day after 'Nina came in I jetted to Vegas on a buddy pass. I took the day off and met with Maria and saw Sweet Jewel. Much better than I expected. :) Took pictures of the lawns as we know we'll have to fight it later. Unfortunately our renters at Fair Play couldn't pay this month. So they will be using their deposit to pay rent. This stuff is really miserable, but at least we have an offer (cash) on Fair Play. We're just waiting for the bank to approve it. Unfortunately our credit is fairly wrecked. All due to the houses.
Went to lunch with Deann, so nice to see her and talk with her. What a good, good friend she is. Enjoyed Pink Taco at the Hard Rock. After seeing the houses I picked up Gillian and then we waiting for Kaitlyn. Picked up Kaitlyn and then her friend Tia. What a nice girl! JF is moving and going bankrupt so the girls showed me where their new home will be. It is amazing to me how he can weasel...weasel...weasel and weasel again to get his way. Anyway, took the girls to Sweet Tomatoes for dinner then we did a little browsing at Burlington and Borders. Dropped off the girls, took the car rental back and headed to the airport. Whew! Such a long day and quick trip but worth every minute.
The next day after 'Nina came in I jetted to Vegas on a buddy pass. I took the day off and met with Maria and saw Sweet Jewel. Much better than I expected. :) Took pictures of the lawns as we know we'll have to fight it later. Unfortunately our renters at Fair Play couldn't pay this month. So they will be using their deposit to pay rent. This stuff is really miserable, but at least we have an offer (cash) on Fair Play. We're just waiting for the bank to approve it. Unfortunately our credit is fairly wrecked. All due to the houses.
Went to lunch with Deann, so nice to see her and talk with her. What a good, good friend she is. Enjoyed Pink Taco at the Hard Rock. After seeing the houses I picked up Gillian and then we waiting for Kaitlyn. Picked up Kaitlyn and then her friend Tia. What a nice girl! JF is moving and going bankrupt so the girls showed me where their new home will be. It is amazing to me how he can weasel...weasel...weasel and weasel again to get his way. Anyway, took the girls to Sweet Tomatoes for dinner then we did a little browsing at Burlington and Borders. Dropped off the girls, took the car rental back and headed to the airport. Whew! Such a long day and quick trip but worth every minute.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Carter's first food and 4 month check up.
On October 2nd Carter eats his first food...prunes! Super cute! He slopped it right up. His face was a total mess! So fun to watch though. A little bittersweet since these are the last of the "firsts".
On October 6 Carter had his 4 month checkup. 16lbs. 8 oz. He's a healthy little chublet! Dr. Tami had a student with her. Super nice guy! Carter made it through very well. He was patient and Tami explained everything she does. It was interesting to hear about it.
On October 6 Carter had his 4 month checkup. 16lbs. 8 oz. He's a healthy little chublet! Dr. Tami had a student with her. Super nice guy! Carter made it through very well. He was patient and Tami explained everything she does. It was interesting to hear about it.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
House drama
Default notice 9/18. Renters play on it. Working with mortgage companies. Massive amount of paperwork, must disclose all kinds of stuff. A package of requested documents a mile long.
Constant changing of requirements. No home modification for us. We've lost SO much money. 100k on the house we live in. Sweet Jewel....trashed.
Constant changing of requirements. No home modification for us. We've lost SO much money. 100k on the house we live in. Sweet Jewel....trashed.
Potty training and memorable boy stuff
Oh man this takes effort! Poopy pants is absolutely no fun! Brandi really deserves all the credit.
Boys Birthday
September just got away from me and I haven't had a chance to jot down some fun stuff from the boys birthday.
Monday, August 30, 2010
First day of high school for Kaitlyn and middle school for Gillian
Reminiscent of the FIRST first day of school for both of them. Kaitlyn says it's her "worst day ever". I think it's a bit of 14yr. old drama. I'm worried about her in the school after hearing what she has to say. It's called "the pharmacy". Oh. My. God. Scary indeed.
Gillian loves middle school. Especially no uniforms and many lunch choices. Oh it's the little things. She's really excited to do orchestra. She wants to play the viola. She is so full of chatter about her teachers and classes. It's cool to hear. She tells me that she is in a math class with 39 kids. Yes, I said 39 kids. In a portable!
I'm quite melancholy about today. I'd love to rewind time and be more available...in the past. I'm truly aware and present (I think) now. It's just a little bit unnerving to know that the girls and I both were the ones that lost out of the drives to school, various awards and mother/daughter muffin days. Yes I managed to get to some of them but not nearly as many as the rat.
Gillian loves middle school. Especially no uniforms and many lunch choices. Oh it's the little things. She's really excited to do orchestra. She wants to play the viola. She is so full of chatter about her teachers and classes. It's cool to hear. She tells me that she is in a math class with 39 kids. Yes, I said 39 kids. In a portable!
I'm quite melancholy about today. I'd love to rewind time and be more available...in the past. I'm truly aware and present (I think) now. It's just a little bit unnerving to know that the girls and I both were the ones that lost out of the drives to school, various awards and mother/daughter muffin days. Yes I managed to get to some of them but not nearly as many as the rat.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Ben "poops the pottie", Tahoe and Girls leaving
Ben poops in the potty. Literally a log. Probably TMI, but totally true. He didn't like it at all either. He cried, but it was probably the better considering he crosses his legs and twists himself and then cries while he holds it in. Poor little guy just hasn't put it together that it is so much easier when sitting on the potty. Hopefully it's the beginning of not buying diapers for 4 kids.
Went to Tahoe on Thursday (8/12). It was a glorious day! We couldn't have asked for a better day! So lucky for us for sure. I'm so glad to be a part of RTT to connect with my peeps, but it also helps to have a bit of a hookup for the Tahoe MS Dixie cruise. It was fabulous! We boated out to Emerald Bay. So, so beautiful. We enjoyed being in a great space that allowed
Girl leave on 8/13. Wow. So hard for me. It never gets easier. The girls both want to live here. Then when they say it, they get guilt ridden text messages back. Like "I must be a terrible father...I guess I should take back those Lakers tickets". Wow...really? You really think it's appropriate for a father to blame his children for not wanting to live with him? Kaitlyn has been real clear for months. Gillian took it upon herself to mail JF a letter explaining her position. He just rejected it and said that it was because she was here in Reno that she felt that way. He also tells her that the judge decided and that's the way it is. Funny how it's changed from him supporting what they want (when they wanted to live in Vegas) to "that's the way it is" when they want to be in Reno. What a gem. Blaming the kids. Rock on JF! What a rat bastard. I'm certain he thinks I put the ideas in their heads. Little does he know that buying them everything doesn't buy love and family. HELLLLOOOO! But no, he cannot think that way.
Went to Tahoe on Thursday (8/12). It was a glorious day! We couldn't have asked for a better day! So lucky for us for sure. I'm so glad to be a part of RTT to connect with my peeps, but it also helps to have a bit of a hookup for the Tahoe MS Dixie cruise. It was fabulous! We boated out to Emerald Bay. So, so beautiful. We enjoyed being in a great space that allowed
Girl leave on 8/13. Wow. So hard for me. It never gets easier. The girls both want to live here. Then when they say it, they get guilt ridden text messages back. Like "I must be a terrible father...I guess I should take back those Lakers tickets". Wow...really? You really think it's appropriate for a father to blame his children for not wanting to live with him? Kaitlyn has been real clear for months. Gillian took it upon herself to mail JF a letter explaining her position. He just rejected it and said that it was because she was here in Reno that she felt that way. He also tells her that the judge decided and that's the way it is. Funny how it's changed from him supporting what they want (when they wanted to live in Vegas) to "that's the way it is" when they want to be in Reno. What a gem. Blaming the kids. Rock on JF! What a rat bastard. I'm certain he thinks I put the ideas in their heads. Little does he know that buying them everything doesn't buy love and family. HELLLLOOOO! But no, he cannot think that way.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Gary potties all by himself despite a day of chaos. Ryan has first finger cut.
This is so worthy of a post. Gary totally took off his own diaper tonight and then after trying to get off the potty for like 10 minutes while evening chaos was happening, he said "Gary peed". All was quiet for a second and then I ran over to look. OH MY GOSH! He did it all by himself. Praise for the star of the evening all around! Gary was awesome! Hopefully this is the start of the potty training going in a positive direction. Instead of four M&Ms for sitting for 5 minutes, Gary got to go in and grab a HUGE handful. He deserved every one!
This is so special today because Gary did it all by himself. Special for me because it was a sunny spot in a rather dark day. Changes at work...potentially. Ryan gets a cut finger when Gary finds scissors. It's Ryan's first boo boo and boy he was very dramatic. Brandi had to leave for a potentially bad family situation, girls were all over the map. All during the workday mind you. Now it's after 5p (and I have NO wine on hand). Ben had a meltdown for like 2 hours and Gary had his one hour tantrum right in the middle. Screaming...jumping up and down...kicking and more screaming. Carter was hungry. Went to throw salmon on the grill for dinner...no propane. Gotta run to the store. Chip asked if I was going to take Carter. No I said. Lots of mommy guilt for me. Come back after a quick trip to Raleys. Boys still freaked out. Carter is hungry and really wants some attention (after all he IS the baby). Feed the boys, who don't enjoy my salmon that I needed to go to the grocery store to cook. Ben's eyes are swollen. Little boys are in the 'zone for jammies. Gary then hits the potty...nice way to end. :) Finally at 8:15 boys go to bed. After whining that it's dark, needing to be wrapped up and 10 kisses later. Oh yeah, Ben got benadryl because his eye still looked swollen. While tuck in happens Carter is still crying for attention.
Chip and I head downstairs and try to think about having dinner ourselves with the girls. Girls are outside hangin' in the cul-de-sac. Makes me happy, but I can't believe it's after 8p. Ex would have a heyday with that. Lost medication is also a topic. However will I explain that? Oh yeah, both of them lost their cell phones too. More to think about before they go to Vegas on Friday.
We managed to "sorta" eat together. Girls start first, try to make the salmon work. Chip and I sit down and Carter needs one of us. He just wants some attention! The little guy is SO good. Carter has gas and we are always checking his poops...are they soft? Hard?
All of it just feels so mismanaged. I want this to be different. I want us to sit and eat and have some family time together. Chip and I are exhausted. Tomorrow is another day. However, during that day I really do have to do some work that they pay me for. I've never felt so squeezed in my life. Add the X stress and wow...how do we manage.
This is so special today because Gary did it all by himself. Special for me because it was a sunny spot in a rather dark day. Changes at work...potentially. Ryan gets a cut finger when Gary finds scissors. It's Ryan's first boo boo and boy he was very dramatic. Brandi had to leave for a potentially bad family situation, girls were all over the map. All during the workday mind you. Now it's after 5p (and I have NO wine on hand). Ben had a meltdown for like 2 hours and Gary had his one hour tantrum right in the middle. Screaming...jumping up and down...kicking and more screaming. Carter was hungry. Went to throw salmon on the grill for dinner...no propane. Gotta run to the store. Chip asked if I was going to take Carter. No I said. Lots of mommy guilt for me. Come back after a quick trip to Raleys. Boys still freaked out. Carter is hungry and really wants some attention (after all he IS the baby). Feed the boys, who don't enjoy my salmon that I needed to go to the grocery store to cook. Ben's eyes are swollen. Little boys are in the 'zone for jammies. Gary then hits the potty...nice way to end. :) Finally at 8:15 boys go to bed. After whining that it's dark, needing to be wrapped up and 10 kisses later. Oh yeah, Ben got benadryl because his eye still looked swollen. While tuck in happens Carter is still crying for attention.
Chip and I head downstairs and try to think about having dinner ourselves with the girls. Girls are outside hangin' in the cul-de-sac. Makes me happy, but I can't believe it's after 8p. Ex would have a heyday with that. Lost medication is also a topic. However will I explain that? Oh yeah, both of them lost their cell phones too. More to think about before they go to Vegas on Friday.
We managed to "sorta" eat together. Girls start first, try to make the salmon work. Chip and I sit down and Carter needs one of us. He just wants some attention! The little guy is SO good. Carter has gas and we are always checking his poops...are they soft? Hard?
All of it just feels so mismanaged. I want this to be different. I want us to sit and eat and have some family time together. Chip and I are exhausted. Tomorrow is another day. However, during that day I really do have to do some work that they pay me for. I've never felt so squeezed in my life. Add the X stress and wow...how do we manage.
Awesome weekend - Farmers Market, HAN, and Carson
We had a great and very full day. Made homemade blueberry pancakes and bacon for breakfast. I made an extra batch for the week. All of the kids love my fresh made with organic blueberries pancakes. Then we packed everyone up in two cars and went off to farmer's market at west street. Since we were already downtown we headed toward the Silver Legacy to enjoy (my first time) Hot August Nights cruise down Virginia. The boys really liked it, except Ryan held his hand over his ears the whole time. The cars were so cool. It reminded me a little of the excitement my mom and dad felt this time of year. Bittersweet. Sweet that I now understand why they enjoyed it so much. Sweet that the kids could see it. Very sad that he isn't here to see it with them. It was odd that I thought about this as our next adventure would be centered around my dad too.
We made it back to the parking lot by the farmers market. Chip and I were just thinking about what else we could squeeze in since we were already out and about. We decided to spontaniously head to Carson City. As we were driving into Carson, I pointed out to Kaitlyn that Grandpa had passed away at Carson Tahoe Medical Center. This building is always a negative sight for me. She didn't say much and we moved on. I would later be surprised when she posted a comment on her FB page.
Grabbed Port of Subs and Mickey Ds and went to the capitol. The grounds are so green and beautiful. Boys had a blast jumping around. Carter and I loved it because it was very shaded. Very quiet on a weekend. It was a great place to let them "runaround".
Gillian and I had a great chat about where she wanted to live, being torn about seeing us. Loving being around her brothers and how meaningful it would be to live here and go to school in Reno. She loves all that there is to do here but hates that she has to choose. There was commentary from her that she knows her dad always has to win. That just made my heart sad. Sad for her and if I didn't hate him so much, sad for him. Kaitlyn came up and asked if she was ok and gave her a hug. Despite their teenager fights these girls love each other and are good to the core. I'd like to think I've shown them to love and the value of family.
Made it home and finished up four loads of laundry. The days are full and exhausting but it's worth every minute. By the end of the day I wonder how I can sleep enough and do it again. It's really hard but our family is special.
We made it back to the parking lot by the farmers market. Chip and I were just thinking about what else we could squeeze in since we were already out and about. We decided to spontaniously head to Carson City. As we were driving into Carson, I pointed out to Kaitlyn that Grandpa had passed away at Carson Tahoe Medical Center. This building is always a negative sight for me. She didn't say much and we moved on. I would later be surprised when she posted a comment on her FB page.
Grabbed Port of Subs and Mickey Ds and went to the capitol. The grounds are so green and beautiful. Boys had a blast jumping around. Carter and I loved it because it was very shaded. Very quiet on a weekend. It was a great place to let them "runaround".
Gillian and I had a great chat about where she wanted to live, being torn about seeing us. Loving being around her brothers and how meaningful it would be to live here and go to school in Reno. She loves all that there is to do here but hates that she has to choose. There was commentary from her that she knows her dad always has to win. That just made my heart sad. Sad for her and if I didn't hate him so much, sad for him. Kaitlyn came up and asked if she was ok and gave her a hug. Despite their teenager fights these girls love each other and are good to the core. I'd like to think I've shown them to love and the value of family.
Made it home and finished up four loads of laundry. The days are full and exhausting but it's worth every minute. By the end of the day I wonder how I can sleep enough and do it again. It's really hard but our family is special.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Looking to make more money...have to pay the rat
Talking about this situation is just not fun but the blog is my "outlet".
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Carter 7 weeks old
Smiles between 6 and 7 weeks. It's SO cute.
Silver Legacy event at Squaw...7/14
Back to work for the first full week 7/19
Girls stay overnight at Audrey's. 7/23. They have a blast and Audrey says it's nice too. That's awesome...
7/23 - Still trying to get in touch with child support office. Get letter from CS regarding IRS and garnishing my wages, IRS taking refunds and reporting to the credit bureaus. Can't get in touch with case worker. John sends emails with "recommendations" and is TOTALLY wrong.
7/23 - First trip to Pump It Up. Gary loves it. Ryan is good until he gets run over and Ben is just plain scared. Good time for everyone but exhausting. Then we go to Del Taco and we are quite the spectacle. Lots of people look and a few comment. It's funny and stressful at the same time.
Kari comes to visit 7/25. Boys play with Play-Doh for the first time. Family first...car wash out front.
Silver Legacy event at Squaw...7/14
Back to work for the first full week 7/19
Girls stay overnight at Audrey's. 7/23. They have a blast and Audrey says it's nice too. That's awesome...
7/23 - Still trying to get in touch with child support office. Get letter from CS regarding IRS and garnishing my wages, IRS taking refunds and reporting to the credit bureaus. Can't get in touch with case worker. John sends emails with "recommendations" and is TOTALLY wrong.
7/23 - First trip to Pump It Up. Gary loves it. Ryan is good until he gets run over and Ben is just plain scared. Good time for everyone but exhausting. Then we go to Del Taco and we are quite the spectacle. Lots of people look and a few comment. It's funny and stressful at the same time.
Kari comes to visit 7/25. Boys play with Play-Doh for the first time. Family first...car wash out front.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Girls are here for the summer!
Wooohooo! Finally! Summer has come and the girls are here for 5 weeks. Of course it isn't without it's own drama, but it's so good to see them! They both wanted to meet their new brother. Holy crap, I can't believe Carter is 5 weeks old and they are just meeting him. Thank you Rat. Anyway, they were enamored with him. He sorta smiled back at them too. A gassy smile if nothing else. It's all good.
The rat strikes again...and again...and again.
Letters from child support office. Wage garnishment happens. Over $600 per paycheck. No one can agree on the arrears amount.
Another jackass email from the rat. Rat sends spreadsheet of owed amount. It's of course WRONG.
Get a letter from child support office that they will report that I owe 10K to the credit reporting agencies. Another letter arrives from the same office indicating that since I owe $9000.00 plus they will be taking any tax refund. I figure I owe $3000.00 or less. The caseworker says I owe about $6000. Now...that said, who the hell at their office can agree on the amount. Rat won't agree to the amount because he's a control freak.
Another jackass email from the rat. Rat sends spreadsheet of owed amount. It's of course WRONG.
Get a letter from child support office that they will report that I owe 10K to the credit reporting agencies. Another letter arrives from the same office indicating that since I owe $9000.00 plus they will be taking any tax refund. I figure I owe $3000.00 or less. The caseworker says I owe about $6000. Now...that said, who the hell at their office can agree on the amount. Rat won't agree to the amount because he's a control freak.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Gary's ER Experience - 6/23/10
Renown Children's Hospital.
One of our triplets, Gary started the day with swollen "boy parts" with redness. We thought was diaper rash. So we treated that. He cried every time he peed through the day. So I thought is was worth calling his pediatrician and she instructed us to go right to the ER in case it was a hernia.
The brothers freaked out when we left with just Gary. They've never really been apart. Brandi said they cried for about 20 minutes and didn't want to do anything without Gare Bear.
So off we went to Renown Childrens ER. It was nice because it has its own waiting area and is designed for kids. The main ER seemed to be crowded with pretty colorful looking people. It was also great that we didn't have to wait with the full room of ER folks since the Children's ER is pretty separated from the main ER.
Gary thought the hospital was neat and took the nurses hand right away. His nurse was Jana. At almost 3 he only weighs 30lbs. We were surprised by that. He was curious as to what everything was. He was VERY unhappy that anyone was messing with him. He cried. I felt terrible that I couldn't make it better.
Doctor Laine came in and was a little...no a lot...scary looking. Of course Gary wasn't happy that he was being messed with again. The doctor was more accommodating than the nurse, but the nurse had a nicer personality. The doctor wasn't mean or anything, but just a little odd. Anyway, it turned out that there was no hernia and at the worst he has a yeast infection. Thank goodness! We're happy to waste trip to learn that it's just a yeasty rash. So after a prescription for some cream, off we went home. When we arrived back at home, we heard from Brandi that the boys were pretty distraught to be separated from their brother. Gary thought was really neat. He had no shyness at the hospital. He showed his brothers his "bracelet". Apparently Ryan and Ben cried for 20 minutes after we left. They also didn't want to do anything until Gary came home. It was very sweet but way too much for the other 2 boys to handle. The triplets have never really been separated. I'm always amazed at what I learn from them about each of the boys. It's really amazing...in a very good way.
One of our triplets, Gary started the day with swollen "boy parts" with redness. We thought was diaper rash. So we treated that. He cried every time he peed through the day. So I thought is was worth calling his pediatrician and she instructed us to go right to the ER in case it was a hernia.
The brothers freaked out when we left with just Gary. They've never really been apart. Brandi said they cried for about 20 minutes and didn't want to do anything without Gare Bear.
So off we went to Renown Childrens ER. It was nice because it has its own waiting area and is designed for kids. The main ER seemed to be crowded with pretty colorful looking people. It was also great that we didn't have to wait with the full room of ER folks since the Children's ER is pretty separated from the main ER.
Gary thought the hospital was neat and took the nurses hand right away. His nurse was Jana. At almost 3 he only weighs 30lbs. We were surprised by that. He was curious as to what everything was. He was VERY unhappy that anyone was messing with him. He cried. I felt terrible that I couldn't make it better.
Doctor Laine came in and was a little...no a lot...scary looking. Of course Gary wasn't happy that he was being messed with again. The doctor was more accommodating than the nurse, but the nurse had a nicer personality. The doctor wasn't mean or anything, but just a little odd. Anyway, it turned out that there was no hernia and at the worst he has a yeast infection. Thank goodness! We're happy to waste trip to learn that it's just a yeasty rash. So after a prescription for some cream, off we went home. When we arrived back at home, we heard from Brandi that the boys were pretty distraught to be separated from their brother. Gary thought was really neat. He had no shyness at the hospital. He showed his brothers his "bracelet". Apparently Ryan and Ben cried for 20 minutes after we left. They also didn't want to do anything until Gary came home. It was very sweet but way too much for the other 2 boys to handle. The triplets have never really been separated. I'm always amazed at what I learn from them about each of the boys. It's really amazing...in a very good way.
First 2 weeks with Carter...coming home, depression and lots of new adjustments
We pretty much did all that we needed to do at the hospital. Our nurse and her student again were fabulous! Letty the CNA was also great. They sent us home with a good supply of formula and a package of diapers. That was really helpful since Carter was 4 days early and I hadn't gotten far enough to buy formula. We received some diapers from the baby shower, so that is really nice to have on hand.
After we arrived at home, the boys were really intrigued by their new brother. They really couldn't put together the "baby in the belly" was now "baby in the boppie".
Mom was here and since Carter was born on a Thursday she stayed through the weekend. It was good to have her here. When she left my emotions were very open and high. It was hard because it is just as difficult for Chip as for me. We had some words last night that didn't help the situation. I need him to be my rock. He is my rock but I was needing it at that moment.
The first days for me have been quite overwhelming. I felt postpartum depression set in almost immediately. I have been just uncontrollably sad/emotional. There has been depression in my life for many years that I have proactively treated with therapy and medications. It has been the best thing for me and for those I care about. Anyway, I just felt like maybe I couldn't do it. Could not handle 4 kids under the age of 3 very well and then how could be of quality and truly present to the girls when they get here. Especially since the little boys are hitting the ego based terrible twos. I'm sure it could be worse, but multiply by 3 and wow. Makes me doubt myself. ALOT!
Brandi also is here which is fantastic! We need her so much. Hopefully she stays happy. There are so many times that I wish we could pay her more. She's a fabulous nanny to our family. I'm grateful every day that we have her. I know I couldn't have made it through these first weeks very well without her.
I saw my primary care doc recently about the depression and not sleeping too. We evaluated the meds and she notice maybe my thyroid was low. She tweaked the depression meds and the thyroid. I was weepy and crying through the whole appointment. It's frustrating to not be able to control the emotional stuff. The impact on me and my ability to be the best I can for my family is crushing sometimes.
I know it will get better, but man, it's a little rough right now. Add in the house limbo we're in with the Las Vegas homes and the child support situation...arrgghhh. I don't know how much I can take and actually deal with.
These first few weeks with Carter have been great. He's mellow when the little guys are screaming. He sleeps a lot and gets up about every 3 hours. He's got a tiny little cry. It's very sweet and makes my heart melt. It isn't easy to be up every 3 hours and function. It's all very worth it. That I know for sure. The boys have been a little out of sorts. We're seeing more tantrums, but I'm not sure if that's just because they are 2 or adjusting to a new family member or both.
One thing is for sure...it's an adventure.
After we arrived at home, the boys were really intrigued by their new brother. They really couldn't put together the "baby in the belly" was now "baby in the boppie".
Mom was here and since Carter was born on a Thursday she stayed through the weekend. It was good to have her here. When she left my emotions were very open and high. It was hard because it is just as difficult for Chip as for me. We had some words last night that didn't help the situation. I need him to be my rock. He is my rock but I was needing it at that moment.
The first days for me have been quite overwhelming. I felt postpartum depression set in almost immediately. I have been just uncontrollably sad/emotional. There has been depression in my life for many years that I have proactively treated with therapy and medications. It has been the best thing for me and for those I care about. Anyway, I just felt like maybe I couldn't do it. Could not handle 4 kids under the age of 3 very well and then how could be of quality and truly present to the girls when they get here. Especially since the little boys are hitting the ego based terrible twos. I'm sure it could be worse, but multiply by 3 and wow. Makes me doubt myself. ALOT!
Brandi also is here which is fantastic! We need her so much. Hopefully she stays happy. There are so many times that I wish we could pay her more. She's a fabulous nanny to our family. I'm grateful every day that we have her. I know I couldn't have made it through these first weeks very well without her.
I saw my primary care doc recently about the depression and not sleeping too. We evaluated the meds and she notice maybe my thyroid was low. She tweaked the depression meds and the thyroid. I was weepy and crying through the whole appointment. It's frustrating to not be able to control the emotional stuff. The impact on me and my ability to be the best I can for my family is crushing sometimes.
I know it will get better, but man, it's a little rough right now. Add in the house limbo we're in with the Las Vegas homes and the child support situation...arrgghhh. I don't know how much I can take and actually deal with.
These first few weeks with Carter have been great. He's mellow when the little guys are screaming. He sleeps a lot and gets up about every 3 hours. He's got a tiny little cry. It's very sweet and makes my heart melt. It isn't easy to be up every 3 hours and function. It's all very worth it. That I know for sure. The boys have been a little out of sorts. We're seeing more tantrums, but I'm not sure if that's just because they are 2 or adjusting to a new family member or both.
One thing is for sure...it's an adventure.
7th Anniversary...
Yesterday was our 7th anniversary.
Tahoe, Zephyr Cove, Emerald Bay
Lunch out, thinking about the kids for awhile.
Tahoe, Zephyr Cove, Emerald Bay
Lunch out, thinking about the kids for awhile.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Little Boy Milestones...June 2010
"sit the potty". Not much luck with potty training.
Lots of chatter and sentences.
Ryan is Mr. Policeman. Gary and Ben have tantrum issues. They jump up and down and scream. It's AWFUL.
Lots of chatter and sentences.
Ryan is Mr. Policeman. Gary and Ben have tantrum issues. They jump up and down and scream. It's AWFUL.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
The hits just keep on comin'...and not in a good way
Ah the joys of having a new baby, crazy emotions and lots of things going on. Life is complicated right now. Throw in very little sleep and well it's sort of a mess.
While I'm on maternity leave it has also been an opportunity to begin to clean up our house and our messes. The other "must be dealt with" messes are 3 houses that we can't sell and with the child support issues we will no longer be able to pay the mortgages unless we do something drastic. Chip and I have decided the drastic and least damaging would be to do a short sale. The complicated piece is that although we're losing a significant amount of money, 2 of the 3 properties are rented. What to do about those families? Where is the line?
Primarily all of the disaster is due to the court issues we've had. There are other factors like getting a bill for $300.00 from our landscaper at one of the houses that we are being fined by the homeowners association. So, let me find some sort of logic in the fines of $1,500.00 for a "dead lawn" on an occupied property...
All of it makes me want to run away screaming. Especially the business with the state. I finally get my caseworker on the phone who basically treats me as a criminal.
While I'm on maternity leave it has also been an opportunity to begin to clean up our house and our messes. The other "must be dealt with" messes are 3 houses that we can't sell and with the child support issues we will no longer be able to pay the mortgages unless we do something drastic. Chip and I have decided the drastic and least damaging would be to do a short sale. The complicated piece is that although we're losing a significant amount of money, 2 of the 3 properties are rented. What to do about those families? Where is the line?
Primarily all of the disaster is due to the court issues we've had. There are other factors like getting a bill for $300.00 from our landscaper at one of the houses that we are being fined by the homeowners association. So, let me find some sort of logic in the fines of $1,500.00 for a "dead lawn" on an occupied property...
All of it makes me want to run away screaming. Especially the business with the state. I finally get my caseworker on the phone who basically treats me as a criminal.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I married a RAT...the first time around!
This post is long and full of bitterness....
Basically, my ex called the state to collect child support because I didn't respond fast enough to his inquiries...he never put a time limit, but that didn't enter into the conversation. I shouldn't be surprised because that's how he operates. However, as of July 6, my drivers license will be revoked.
This is an email string between my rat ex and myself regarding child support. The carroted statements are by him and you can see the interjection of my comments in between...it's a rough cut of the emails. First piece is my initial email to him and the 2nd piece is his response and then I interjected thoughts that I responded back to him with.
; -----Original Message-----
From: Sherri Mcvey [mailto:sherri@metaforge.net] Sent: Friday, June 18, 2010 4:44 PM
To: J.F.
Subject: Child Support
J.,
We need to have a discussion about the child support. I'm about to outline a couple of items and I would hope that you would think back to my own generosity to you over the years, especially considering the money that you still owe me and that you did not pay child support for so long.
Here's the situation...
1. I don't understand why you wouldn't work with me directly and that you would involve the state in our business, especially regarding child support. There is absolutely no good reason for this and frankly has held up so many things. However, since you have, if I pay you, according to the paperwork that I received, my payments won't count.
2. I have responded to all the paperwork by the state asking for a payment plan and yet, on July 6, they will revoke my driver's license due to lack of payment. I also responded to the wage garnishment, which is totally ridiculous but if that makes you happy, then fine, but as you will see below, there are other items to be addressed. Consequently, I did get the notification of wage garnishment, however, no garnish has ever occurred. The state has all of my employer info, so this should not be an issue. Besides that my attorney said all they have to do is pull up my social security number and they can access anything they want. I have faxed all the information and yet, no one will call me back from the state. I just get nasty letters about what I haven't done, which is not true. Again, you didn't work with me, so my choices are very limited.
3. I cannot afford to pay you the amount. Even though it's none of your business, our homes are going into foreclosure. We will try to short sell them, but with the Vegas economy, I feel as though it won't work. I would hope that you and I could come to an agreement that works for everyone without involving the state. If I could even pay you the full amount, the result would be that I cannot afford to fly the girls here and certainly we could not afford to do much while they were here. Right now, which, from my perspective is not the case for you, we have to think twice about ordering a pizza let alone trying to do something with the girls. They want to kayak this summer and I need to figure out a way that I can do it. All that said, if we can come to an agreement, we would set up an automatic bill pay to you.
> These are just the facts John. All of this has been unfortunate. I'm doing the best I can and will be more than happy to try to work something out. However, if my driver's license gets revoked, even after I have requested a payment plan via fax (which I'd be happy to supply to you) I would like you to explain why to the girls. You'll need to explain to them why Chip will be picking them up and taking them to the airport when I have done my due diligence to correct the situation with the state. Furthermore, if I can't drive, that impacts my job, which doesn't help the situation either.
In addition, if at all possible due to costs, I would not like to have to involve attorneys other than basic items or writing up paperwork. I simply can't afford to spend any more money.
I also received your bankruptcy information as did Chip. Why were both of us notified?
Please respond to this email in the next 5 days if possible with information about the state and/or your response.
Thanks
J.F. wrote:
June 22, 2010
Sherri,
This letter is in response to your June 18, 2010 email about child support.You start by reminding me of your generosity over the years including a loan
that you made to me and that I did not pay child support “for so long”. I
don’t think rehashing the past is generally productive, except, of course
that I do try to dwell on the good things you have done for me. That helps
me foster cordial feelings towards you so that we can more easily work together as good parents whose primary goal is the welfare of our daughters.I assume you do much the same.
My feedback...
The only reason I have any sort of connection to you is because of our daughters. I'm certain you're choosing to ignore/not rehash the past. Perhaps it's because you selectively remember things and it would require you to face the fact that I was generous and took the high road every time and DID NOT involve the state in our matters. Maybe that's just hard for you to remember because you have no inclination to do anything nice or good for me and was very quick to involve the state.
J.F.':
In any case, I gratefully acknowledge that you have at times been generous to me and I also For example, at the time of our divorce, I willingly agreed to pay all of your expenses for 2 years including all costs for a nearly new car that we had just purchased and all of your rent and utilities even though my attorney told me I need not, in fact should not, agree to such terms. When you moved to Reno, you took me to family court asking not only for full custody of our girls but also for repayment of arrears child support and the loan you made me.
My feedback...
I thought you didn't want to rehash the past. Hmmm. You bought your way out of the marriage. Pure and simple. Your choice. You were probably distracted with your sexual relationship with Jennifer. Its not my fault that you didn't follow your attorney's advice. Besides, it bought you a way to keep the business and the house. Don't forget those important details too. If you are still hung up on that, that sounds like your harbor quite ill feelings for me. You made the offer and I accepted. Little do people know who they are dealing with. I took you to family court because just as we went to mediation in the past, you are completely closed minded to anything but what JOHN wants. No matter how it impacts anyone else. That was clear from the first conversation that we had about where the girls would be that you were very unwilling to negotiate anything.
J.F.:
With the court order of March 10, 2009 any previous child support, insurance requests, etc. have been settled. You were awarded 18 months of the back child support you asked for. Said back child support that I owe was to be reduced by the monthly child support you owe me until my 18 months of back support were paid in full. That back child support I owed you was paid off during the first week of April 2010. The loan you made to me was not
included in that court order because you did not present data to support it.
My feedback...
The courts are charging me all the way back to January the full amount. If I could possibly get anyone on the phone perhaps I could correct that. I have sent a fax, but again no answer. Clearly you're saying this isn't your problem, but it really is. Until it gets straightened out so I can begin making some sort of payment (even though the child support office wants the full amount), you don't get paid. All I want is corrected numbers and clear answers. I was hopeful that you would be nice and work with me on the amount. My fault for again trying to work things out amicably.
J.F.:
In regards to your Item 1: You say that you wish that I would have contacted you directly about the child support you own me and not involved “the state in our business”. I did contact you directly to resolve this. On Sep 22, 2009 I mailed you a letter (see attached) with a spreadsheet detailing what I owed you and what you owe me. On October 2, 2009 I received an email from your husband Chip (see attached) stating my letter was received and he says he will get back with me. In that email he stated he would address 1/2 of the insurance (that was already brought up in court and resolved) as part of his review. I was married to you, not Chip, so I have no interest in dealing with him. That was last October and I have not heard from him (or you) about this matter since.
My feedback...
Chip carries the insurance. He has to get the information via his VPN system and his HR and have the documentation provided to us, which is what was said in court. I don't believe our order says there is a time limit on this. You could have also asked me to communicate with you, but his message was meant to try and work peacefully. I AM married to Chip and if I choose to let him/have him speak on my behalf, that is my choice. I was not aware that you were waiting for anything from me or that there was any time limit. I did get your spreadsheet and in fact submitted it to the child support office as back up to a) prove that I don't owe back to January and b) that I do believe it to be correct, except the health insurance stuff.
J.F.:
Rest assured that I also wish that we could have resolved this issue without my having had to go to the District Attorney for help. After waiting months for your reply, I felt I had no choice but to protect the girls’ interests as best I could. Contacting the District Attorney seemed and seems the best way for me to secure the court ordered child support.
My feedback...
I'm not quite understanding this piece of your message. Perhaps I'm too stupid to get it, but what were you expecting for a reply? Again, the insurance is not carried by me and I cannot control the time it takes to get documentation. How about letting me know that if whatever it is you wanted answered wasn't that you were going to the state? How about that courtesy? After all, I did bail you out of jail for child support non payment to Marie and oh yeah, you slept on our couch when you and Marie were fighting. Oh yeah, you also sued me for custody when you and Marie were married. So, apparently all of that was meaningless to you.
J.F.
In regards to your Item 2: You say that you have responded to the State with payment plans but it has made no reply. Furthermore, the State has said it will revoke your driver’s license on July 6 due to lack of payment of the child support. Also, you have received a notice of wage garnishment but no garnish has occurred to date. I, of course, cannot control how a state agency conducts their business. I do not have authority to tell them what to do. However, it is my understanding that they just want to see you paying on a regular basis.
While I can see why you want to establish a payment plan before you write a check, it seems that time is of the essence and making an attempt to pay something may well allow you to keep your license. Revoking your driver’s license is their punishment to get you to pay, not to get you to try to create a plan.
My feedback...
If I can't speak to anyone about garnishment or payment, what exactly do you expect me to do? You could control the situation by saying that you and I will work together to take care of the situation and take the state out of it. You could also attempt to assist me in getting help with the state. I don't see any sort of suggestion to that in this message, which may be a logical step in the right direction. Again, you show no generosity or assistance to me.
J.F.:
Since you are having trouble getting explanations or, for that matter, any response from the State, I will share the District Attorney's procedure in this case as the staff has explained it to me.
My feedback...
REALLY!?! That's interesting since I can't get my caseworker, Ms. Carpenter to speak to me, respond to a fax or get a call back. That's very interesting that they would lay out the process to you.
J.F.:
The Clark County District Attorney's office offers a public service to collect child support. Because you live out of jurisdiction of Clark County, they can only do a wage garnishment and/or ask the State to revoke your driver’s license. Should child support continue to not be paid after the drivers license revocation, the District Attorney will transfer this case to the Washoe County District Attorney's office, in your jurisdiction, and proceed to serve you for contempt of court to have you show cause for failure to pay child support. This would happen in the Reno court system, with a Reno judge deciding the outcome.
J.F.:
Well, I guess if I can't get anyone to reply, I'll have to wait for that and just endure a driver's license revocation. However, I will again remind you that no wage garnishment has occurred and they have me in arrears since January. There is no way for me to make that payment and the paperwork states that I must be caught up. So...what would you suggest? Also, not having a drivers license could potentially result in me losing my job since I can't go to meetings. I suppose that would put us back in court since then I would be generating no income.
J.F.:
In regards to your Item 3: I am sorry to hear of your financial issues. Unfortunately, I cannot negotiate a court ordered payment. It is what it is, by law. My suggestion is that you start sending something to the District Attorney on a regular basis.
My feedback...
You have control to remove the state from our situation. You could indeed negotiate a court ordered payment if you wanted to and paperwork could be filed. But again, you only are out for your interests. You and I both know this is possible. After all I said that you could have a short reprieve of child support and you didn't pay for over 5 years. So yes, it can be changed and negotiated. You and I can make any decision we want and have paperwork filed to show what we want. So, please don't insult my intelligence by saying otherwise.
J.F.:
Unfortunately, I too have been affected by the recession. You and Chip received the bankruptcy information because I listed the promissory note, and any/all non-child support amounts, as a debt to be considered for discharge. In the March 10, 2009 court order, the judge legally settled any/all past child support I owe you, and with this Chapter13 filing, any
non-child support related debt I may owe you up until June 9, 2010 will be
considered for discharge.
Lastly, in addition to the back child support you owe, we need to create a plan for the $3,500 judgment repayment for the portion of my attorney’s fees that you owe. My attorney advised me to wait until my Chapter 13 bankruptcy is finished, then we plan on filing a motion with Judge Pomerantz to show cause for contempt of court as to why you haven't made an attempt in over a year to cure this debt. We will be asking for attorney's fees should it come
to that, and I am told that should be about another $3,000. This is not meant as a threat, I’m just telling you the game plan. However, should you formulate a plan of repayment promptly, and start sending me payments on a regular basis I will accept your plan, without interest. I too want to avoid additional costly legal fees, both for me and for you. Should we go to court, legal interest would most likely accrue. In any case, the judgment payments will not be reported to the District Attorney because they would not be for child support.
My feedback...
How about again just asking me my plans rather than sticking it to me with your "game plan". It is indeed a threat. This last bit of news is a complete shocker to me. It was my understanding it was also coming out of the amount you owed me. That's what my attorney (Hoskin) shared with me at the time. So, I was under the understanding that it was not an issue. However, since it is and you have now brought it to my attention, we can work something out, however with child support and everything else that you say you can't do anything about, it won't be much. JUST ASK ME! But no, it's so much better for you to be underhanded and weasel your way back into court to obtain even more money because that is how you operate from your note above. You haven't once mentioned this payment/debt to me. Interesting how now that you're filing bankruptcy you are ready and willing to go back to court and sue for fees and interest. Very timely indeed.
Please explain to me how you will address it with the girls when I can't afford to fly them here to see me or their other siblings. Between a payment plan with you and child support payments, it is a slim to none chance that I will be able to purchase flights.
Basically, my ex called the state to collect child support because I didn't respond fast enough to his inquiries...he never put a time limit, but that didn't enter into the conversation. I shouldn't be surprised because that's how he operates. However, as of July 6, my drivers license will be revoked.
This is an email string between my rat ex and myself regarding child support. The carroted statements are by him and you can see the interjection of my comments in between...it's a rough cut of the emails. First piece is my initial email to him and the 2nd piece is his response and then I interjected thoughts that I responded back to him with.
; -----Original Message-----
From: Sherri Mcvey [mailto:sherri@metaforge.net] Sent: Friday, June 18, 2010 4:44 PM
To: J.F.
Subject: Child Support
J.,
We need to have a discussion about the child support. I'm about to outline a couple of items and I would hope that you would think back to my own generosity to you over the years, especially considering the money that you still owe me and that you did not pay child support for so long.
Here's the situation...
1. I don't understand why you wouldn't work with me directly and that you would involve the state in our business, especially regarding child support. There is absolutely no good reason for this and frankly has held up so many things. However, since you have, if I pay you, according to the paperwork that I received, my payments won't count.
2. I have responded to all the paperwork by the state asking for a payment plan and yet, on July 6, they will revoke my driver's license due to lack of payment. I also responded to the wage garnishment, which is totally ridiculous but if that makes you happy, then fine, but as you will see below, there are other items to be addressed. Consequently, I did get the notification of wage garnishment, however, no garnish has ever occurred. The state has all of my employer info, so this should not be an issue. Besides that my attorney said all they have to do is pull up my social security number and they can access anything they want. I have faxed all the information and yet, no one will call me back from the state. I just get nasty letters about what I haven't done, which is not true. Again, you didn't work with me, so my choices are very limited.
3. I cannot afford to pay you the amount. Even though it's none of your business, our homes are going into foreclosure. We will try to short sell them, but with the Vegas economy, I feel as though it won't work. I would hope that you and I could come to an agreement that works for everyone without involving the state. If I could even pay you the full amount, the result would be that I cannot afford to fly the girls here and certainly we could not afford to do much while they were here. Right now, which, from my perspective is not the case for you, we have to think twice about ordering a pizza let alone trying to do something with the girls. They want to kayak this summer and I need to figure out a way that I can do it. All that said, if we can come to an agreement, we would set up an automatic bill pay to you.
> These are just the facts John. All of this has been unfortunate. I'm doing the best I can and will be more than happy to try to work something out. However, if my driver's license gets revoked, even after I have requested a payment plan via fax (which I'd be happy to supply to you) I would like you to explain why to the girls. You'll need to explain to them why Chip will be picking them up and taking them to the airport when I have done my due diligence to correct the situation with the state. Furthermore, if I can't drive, that impacts my job, which doesn't help the situation either.
In addition, if at all possible due to costs, I would not like to have to involve attorneys other than basic items or writing up paperwork. I simply can't afford to spend any more money.
I also received your bankruptcy information as did Chip. Why were both of us notified?
Please respond to this email in the next 5 days if possible with information about the state and/or your response.
Thanks
J.F. wrote:
June 22, 2010
Sherri,
This letter is in response to your June 18, 2010 email about child support.You start by reminding me of your generosity over the years including a loan
that you made to me and that I did not pay child support “for so long”. I
don’t think rehashing the past is generally productive, except, of course
that I do try to dwell on the good things you have done for me. That helps
me foster cordial feelings towards you so that we can more easily work together as good parents whose primary goal is the welfare of our daughters.I assume you do much the same.
My feedback...
The only reason I have any sort of connection to you is because of our daughters. I'm certain you're choosing to ignore/not rehash the past. Perhaps it's because you selectively remember things and it would require you to face the fact that I was generous and took the high road every time and DID NOT involve the state in our matters. Maybe that's just hard for you to remember because you have no inclination to do anything nice or good for me and was very quick to involve the state.
J.F.':
In any case, I gratefully acknowledge that you have at times been generous to me and I also For example, at the time of our divorce, I willingly agreed to pay all of your expenses for 2 years including all costs for a nearly new car that we had just purchased and all of your rent and utilities even though my attorney told me I need not, in fact should not, agree to such terms. When you moved to Reno, you took me to family court asking not only for full custody of our girls but also for repayment of arrears child support and the loan you made me.
My feedback...
I thought you didn't want to rehash the past. Hmmm. You bought your way out of the marriage. Pure and simple. Your choice. You were probably distracted with your sexual relationship with Jennifer. Its not my fault that you didn't follow your attorney's advice. Besides, it bought you a way to keep the business and the house. Don't forget those important details too. If you are still hung up on that, that sounds like your harbor quite ill feelings for me. You made the offer and I accepted. Little do people know who they are dealing with. I took you to family court because just as we went to mediation in the past, you are completely closed minded to anything but what JOHN wants. No matter how it impacts anyone else. That was clear from the first conversation that we had about where the girls would be that you were very unwilling to negotiate anything.
J.F.:
With the court order of March 10, 2009 any previous child support, insurance requests, etc. have been settled. You were awarded 18 months of the back child support you asked for. Said back child support that I owe was to be reduced by the monthly child support you owe me until my 18 months of back support were paid in full. That back child support I owed you was paid off during the first week of April 2010. The loan you made to me was not
included in that court order because you did not present data to support it.
My feedback...
The courts are charging me all the way back to January the full amount. If I could possibly get anyone on the phone perhaps I could correct that. I have sent a fax, but again no answer. Clearly you're saying this isn't your problem, but it really is. Until it gets straightened out so I can begin making some sort of payment (even though the child support office wants the full amount), you don't get paid. All I want is corrected numbers and clear answers. I was hopeful that you would be nice and work with me on the amount. My fault for again trying to work things out amicably.
J.F.:
In regards to your Item 1: You say that you wish that I would have contacted you directly about the child support you own me and not involved “the state in our business”. I did contact you directly to resolve this. On Sep 22, 2009 I mailed you a letter (see attached) with a spreadsheet detailing what I owed you and what you owe me. On October 2, 2009 I received an email from your husband Chip (see attached) stating my letter was received and he says he will get back with me. In that email he stated he would address 1/2 of the insurance (that was already brought up in court and resolved) as part of his review. I was married to you, not Chip, so I have no interest in dealing with him. That was last October and I have not heard from him (or you) about this matter since.
My feedback...
Chip carries the insurance. He has to get the information via his VPN system and his HR and have the documentation provided to us, which is what was said in court. I don't believe our order says there is a time limit on this. You could have also asked me to communicate with you, but his message was meant to try and work peacefully. I AM married to Chip and if I choose to let him/have him speak on my behalf, that is my choice. I was not aware that you were waiting for anything from me or that there was any time limit. I did get your spreadsheet and in fact submitted it to the child support office as back up to a) prove that I don't owe back to January and b) that I do believe it to be correct, except the health insurance stuff.
J.F.:
Rest assured that I also wish that we could have resolved this issue without my having had to go to the District Attorney for help. After waiting months for your reply, I felt I had no choice but to protect the girls’ interests as best I could. Contacting the District Attorney seemed and seems the best way for me to secure the court ordered child support.
My feedback...
I'm not quite understanding this piece of your message. Perhaps I'm too stupid to get it, but what were you expecting for a reply? Again, the insurance is not carried by me and I cannot control the time it takes to get documentation. How about letting me know that if whatever it is you wanted answered wasn't that you were going to the state? How about that courtesy? After all, I did bail you out of jail for child support non payment to Marie and oh yeah, you slept on our couch when you and Marie were fighting. Oh yeah, you also sued me for custody when you and Marie were married. So, apparently all of that was meaningless to you.
J.F.
In regards to your Item 2: You say that you have responded to the State with payment plans but it has made no reply. Furthermore, the State has said it will revoke your driver’s license on July 6 due to lack of payment of the child support. Also, you have received a notice of wage garnishment but no garnish has occurred to date. I, of course, cannot control how a state agency conducts their business. I do not have authority to tell them what to do. However, it is my understanding that they just want to see you paying on a regular basis.
While I can see why you want to establish a payment plan before you write a check, it seems that time is of the essence and making an attempt to pay something may well allow you to keep your license. Revoking your driver’s license is their punishment to get you to pay, not to get you to try to create a plan.
My feedback...
If I can't speak to anyone about garnishment or payment, what exactly do you expect me to do? You could control the situation by saying that you and I will work together to take care of the situation and take the state out of it. You could also attempt to assist me in getting help with the state. I don't see any sort of suggestion to that in this message, which may be a logical step in the right direction. Again, you show no generosity or assistance to me.
J.F.:
Since you are having trouble getting explanations or, for that matter, any response from the State, I will share the District Attorney's procedure in this case as the staff has explained it to me.
My feedback...
REALLY!?! That's interesting since I can't get my caseworker, Ms. Carpenter to speak to me, respond to a fax or get a call back. That's very interesting that they would lay out the process to you.
J.F.:
The Clark County District Attorney's office offers a public service to collect child support. Because you live out of jurisdiction of Clark County, they can only do a wage garnishment and/or ask the State to revoke your driver’s license. Should child support continue to not be paid after the drivers license revocation, the District Attorney will transfer this case to the Washoe County District Attorney's office, in your jurisdiction, and proceed to serve you for contempt of court to have you show cause for failure to pay child support. This would happen in the Reno court system, with a Reno judge deciding the outcome.
J.F.:
Well, I guess if I can't get anyone to reply, I'll have to wait for that and just endure a driver's license revocation. However, I will again remind you that no wage garnishment has occurred and they have me in arrears since January. There is no way for me to make that payment and the paperwork states that I must be caught up. So...what would you suggest? Also, not having a drivers license could potentially result in me losing my job since I can't go to meetings. I suppose that would put us back in court since then I would be generating no income.
J.F.:
In regards to your Item 3: I am sorry to hear of your financial issues. Unfortunately, I cannot negotiate a court ordered payment. It is what it is, by law. My suggestion is that you start sending something to the District Attorney on a regular basis.
My feedback...
You have control to remove the state from our situation. You could indeed negotiate a court ordered payment if you wanted to and paperwork could be filed. But again, you only are out for your interests. You and I both know this is possible. After all I said that you could have a short reprieve of child support and you didn't pay for over 5 years. So yes, it can be changed and negotiated. You and I can make any decision we want and have paperwork filed to show what we want. So, please don't insult my intelligence by saying otherwise.
J.F.:
Unfortunately, I too have been affected by the recession. You and Chip received the bankruptcy information because I listed the promissory note, and any/all non-child support amounts, as a debt to be considered for discharge. In the March 10, 2009 court order, the judge legally settled any/all past child support I owe you, and with this Chapter13 filing, any
non-child support related debt I may owe you up until June 9, 2010 will be
considered for discharge.
Lastly, in addition to the back child support you owe, we need to create a plan for the $3,500 judgment repayment for the portion of my attorney’s fees that you owe. My attorney advised me to wait until my Chapter 13 bankruptcy is finished, then we plan on filing a motion with Judge Pomerantz to show cause for contempt of court as to why you haven't made an attempt in over a year to cure this debt. We will be asking for attorney's fees should it come
to that, and I am told that should be about another $3,000. This is not meant as a threat, I’m just telling you the game plan. However, should you formulate a plan of repayment promptly, and start sending me payments on a regular basis I will accept your plan, without interest. I too want to avoid additional costly legal fees, both for me and for you. Should we go to court, legal interest would most likely accrue. In any case, the judgment payments will not be reported to the District Attorney because they would not be for child support.
My feedback...
How about again just asking me my plans rather than sticking it to me with your "game plan". It is indeed a threat. This last bit of news is a complete shocker to me. It was my understanding it was also coming out of the amount you owed me. That's what my attorney (Hoskin) shared with me at the time. So, I was under the understanding that it was not an issue. However, since it is and you have now brought it to my attention, we can work something out, however with child support and everything else that you say you can't do anything about, it won't be much. JUST ASK ME! But no, it's so much better for you to be underhanded and weasel your way back into court to obtain even more money because that is how you operate from your note above. You haven't once mentioned this payment/debt to me. Interesting how now that you're filing bankruptcy you are ready and willing to go back to court and sue for fees and interest. Very timely indeed.
Please explain to me how you will address it with the girls when I can't afford to fly them here to see me or their other siblings. Between a payment plan with you and child support payments, it is a slim to none chance that I will be able to purchase flights.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
38 wks and 6 days - Carter ARRIVES on 6/3/2010
(This post is long and graphically talks about childbirth)
I had just posted a couple of days ago and was complaining about my uncomfortable self...well, I woke up at 4 a.m. or so on Thursday, June 3. Pretty soon I felt my back hurt. Contractions. Not too bad then. Called the doctor about 5 or so after waking Chip to tell him something was up. Dr. Najima told me to take a shower, take some Tylenol and see if I felt better. She had asked me about my last appointment, which had been the day before. Dr. F. was confident I would make it to my scheduled c-section date of June 7. His position was if I carried triplets to 34 weeks, he felt fairly certain I could carry this little guy until 39 weeks.
After awhile, around 6:30 or so the contractions were far more intense and coming much closer together. Neither Chip nor I was prepared for the morning we were about to have. I was in pain and felt sure that today would be the day that I would have a c-section and then the fun would begin with the healing process and stumbling through having 4 kids under the age of 3 along with all of our other day to day things that with triplets just never seemed to get done. At least I wouldn't be pregnant anymore. That was a plus.
Within the next hour or so, the contractions were so painful and probably no more than 5 minutes apart. I told Chip to call Brandi. He called her. In the meantime I tried to put stuff in a bag and so did Chip. We weren't prepared and I was hoping that it would take my mind off the fact that I was in incredible pain every 5 minutes for approximately 1 minute. It felt like every minute until Brandi arrived to care for the boys was an eternity. She arrived at about 7:30. We left immediately. I had also called the doctor again and said we were on our way.
Unfortunately for us, Vista, our main street out of Red Hawk was being widened and much of it was down to one lane. Chip went up and over the hill. I was in agony sitting in the car seat and again, it felt like an eternity as we stared at the Raley's parking lot, I squeezed his hand off during a contraction and he went for it and tried to go through the parking lot, but ROAD CLOSED!!! Oh my god, I felt like I was going to die with every bump and stop and go. Of course it has to be during rush hour traffic as well. It was truly all I could do to not scream at him to drive faster. Either scream at him or the traffic. I didn't do either, but boy it was hard. So as fast as we could...roughly 40 minutes we arrived at Renown. We checked in at 8:10. I was standing and trying to walk. It was hard, but it was better than sitting. I was still thinking they'd take me right in and get this c-section going...oh no, that was not to be.
I met Erin and Robin (delivery nurses) right away. I stripped down and was begging for drugs to help take the edge off the contractions. They did give me some fentanyl via IV to take the edge off of my contractions. Immediately I was loopy, but better. It didn't take the pain away, but at least took the edge off. Then my doctor came in. Dr. F wasn't the warmest guy, but I totally felt great about his quality of care. He was just fairly procedural. Chip called it scientific. I think he's spot on. Anyway, the nurse had checked me at about 8:20 and I was dilated to 4-5 centimeters and about 80% effaced. 20 minutes later I was dilated to 8 centimeters. I was fighting contraction pain and the kick of the fentanyl wasn't touching the pain. By now, my delivery team and doctor tell me that there's really no time for a c-section and we'll go for a VBAC. I asked for an epidural and was hanging on for the anethesiologist to come in after being in a c-section. Meanwhile I was yelling pretty loud. I felt a little embarrassed, but the pain was so great it just happened with each contraction. Chip was right there and held my hand as I tried to keep control of myself with each contraction. I'm fairly sure that I squeezed it pretty hard.
The next thing I know my water breaks. Well...no epidural. Everything will be natural and should happen within a short time. I was panicking in my mind because I had not prepared myself for natural childbirth. In my mind, it was supposed to be methodic and scheduled. I was most concerned about my recovery and having small children. I asked nurse Erin what it would be like. She said "think ring of fire". I said aloud "I don't know if I can do this" and started to cry. Still trying manage getting through contractions that seemed to be one after another. Meanwhile, my doctor was there for quite some time and didn't say much. That was a little strange, but he was watching and waiting. Robin and Erin were very much in control of the situation. Chip was still letting me squeeze his hand off and talking to me. Telling me that I COULD do it. Then it was time to push. I was yelling my head off. I would make it through that contraction and felt bad for about 2 seconds. I remember apologizing for being so noisy. Then it came again. My body seemed to do what it was supposed to do. Erin and Robin were telling me to hold my breath. I was crying and yelling at the same time. I couldn't put it all together in my mind to make it all work. It felt surreal. I could hear everything, or at least I felt like I could, but I couldn't follow the instructions of anyone. Perhaps at that point my doctor said something, but I'm not sure. I could understand what was being said. The execution wasn't there. So after a bit more time I could hear Erin telling me to try to not scream, but to hold my breathe and use that force. I finally tried to focus on that. I went for it and I could sort of hear Chip telling me I was almost there. I tried again with all the force I had. Then once again. Then I see this baby on me. He had a full head of dark hair, wet and curly. His little cry made me cry. He was born at 9:17 a.m. and weighed in at a hefty 7 lbs. 10 oz. The biggest baby I've ever had.
I felt immediate relief physically, but was incredibly emotional. Chip cut the cord and little Carter was out in the world! From there on, it was an odd experience because I had Kaitlyn and Gillian vaginally, but had epidurals. So it was both painful and a new experience to have all the after stuff that happens going on. Some stitches were needed. That was somewhat painful, but my doctor was generous with the local every time I complained. I was so wrapped up in everything else, that I didn't realize that all of the events from walking into the hospital to the completion of the birth was approximately 1 hour and 10 minutes. Before long I was transferred to postpartum. Audrey was our first visitor and brought a little platypus for Carter that is blue with huge eyes. It's cute. She brought a turkey sandwich for Chip. I was starving by then, but nothing looked too appealing.
When I went to postpartum, it was to a wing of the hospital that was typically closed because all other rooms were being used. It looked fairly dated and was small. Poor Chip had a cot which didn't look very comfy. The hospital bed wasn't all that great either, but both of us were tired. I was a little disappointed because I had heard that there were "suites" and this definitely was not what I would classify as a suite. A few hours later we were moved and it was a beautiful suite with a great view and very spacious. The convertible bed for Chip really didn't look any more comfortable than the cot. In fact it looked more firm. The poor guy still managed to sleep on it. He had gone home for a few hours to check on the boys and be there until bed time. It was good that he could. I was incredibly grateful to not have had a c-section and be dealing with a surgical recovery.
I found myself very emotional as the night wore on. I've struggled with depression and particularly after my babies. It was a bit of the aftermath of birth and the surges of hormones I think. There were just so many thoughts running through my head that I couldn't seem to shut off. My night nurse Shelly came in to check on me and ended up staying for quite awhile. She shared with me her postpartum depression experience. There was a lot of weeping from me. We shared our histories and it just meant so much to me to connect with her. Every single person I came in contact with from the engineer who fixed the TV to the CNAs and nurses were so compassionate and just really nice. It was a far cry from the nursing staff in Vegas when we had the boys.
We decided to head home the next day instead of staying 2 days in the hospital. I was really unsure about that, but also felt the need to be at home.
I had just posted a couple of days ago and was complaining about my uncomfortable self...well, I woke up at 4 a.m. or so on Thursday, June 3. Pretty soon I felt my back hurt. Contractions. Not too bad then. Called the doctor about 5 or so after waking Chip to tell him something was up. Dr. Najima told me to take a shower, take some Tylenol and see if I felt better. She had asked me about my last appointment, which had been the day before. Dr. F. was confident I would make it to my scheduled c-section date of June 7. His position was if I carried triplets to 34 weeks, he felt fairly certain I could carry this little guy until 39 weeks.
After awhile, around 6:30 or so the contractions were far more intense and coming much closer together. Neither Chip nor I was prepared for the morning we were about to have. I was in pain and felt sure that today would be the day that I would have a c-section and then the fun would begin with the healing process and stumbling through having 4 kids under the age of 3 along with all of our other day to day things that with triplets just never seemed to get done. At least I wouldn't be pregnant anymore. That was a plus.
Within the next hour or so, the contractions were so painful and probably no more than 5 minutes apart. I told Chip to call Brandi. He called her. In the meantime I tried to put stuff in a bag and so did Chip. We weren't prepared and I was hoping that it would take my mind off the fact that I was in incredible pain every 5 minutes for approximately 1 minute. It felt like every minute until Brandi arrived to care for the boys was an eternity. She arrived at about 7:30. We left immediately. I had also called the doctor again and said we were on our way.
Unfortunately for us, Vista, our main street out of Red Hawk was being widened and much of it was down to one lane. Chip went up and over the hill. I was in agony sitting in the car seat and again, it felt like an eternity as we stared at the Raley's parking lot, I squeezed his hand off during a contraction and he went for it and tried to go through the parking lot, but ROAD CLOSED!!! Oh my god, I felt like I was going to die with every bump and stop and go. Of course it has to be during rush hour traffic as well. It was truly all I could do to not scream at him to drive faster. Either scream at him or the traffic. I didn't do either, but boy it was hard. So as fast as we could...roughly 40 minutes we arrived at Renown. We checked in at 8:10. I was standing and trying to walk. It was hard, but it was better than sitting. I was still thinking they'd take me right in and get this c-section going...oh no, that was not to be.
I met Erin and Robin (delivery nurses) right away. I stripped down and was begging for drugs to help take the edge off the contractions. They did give me some fentanyl via IV to take the edge off of my contractions. Immediately I was loopy, but better. It didn't take the pain away, but at least took the edge off. Then my doctor came in. Dr. F wasn't the warmest guy, but I totally felt great about his quality of care. He was just fairly procedural. Chip called it scientific. I think he's spot on. Anyway, the nurse had checked me at about 8:20 and I was dilated to 4-5 centimeters and about 80% effaced. 20 minutes later I was dilated to 8 centimeters. I was fighting contraction pain and the kick of the fentanyl wasn't touching the pain. By now, my delivery team and doctor tell me that there's really no time for a c-section and we'll go for a VBAC. I asked for an epidural and was hanging on for the anethesiologist to come in after being in a c-section. Meanwhile I was yelling pretty loud. I felt a little embarrassed, but the pain was so great it just happened with each contraction. Chip was right there and held my hand as I tried to keep control of myself with each contraction. I'm fairly sure that I squeezed it pretty hard.
The next thing I know my water breaks. Well...no epidural. Everything will be natural and should happen within a short time. I was panicking in my mind because I had not prepared myself for natural childbirth. In my mind, it was supposed to be methodic and scheduled. I was most concerned about my recovery and having small children. I asked nurse Erin what it would be like. She said "think ring of fire". I said aloud "I don't know if I can do this" and started to cry. Still trying manage getting through contractions that seemed to be one after another. Meanwhile, my doctor was there for quite some time and didn't say much. That was a little strange, but he was watching and waiting. Robin and Erin were very much in control of the situation. Chip was still letting me squeeze his hand off and talking to me. Telling me that I COULD do it. Then it was time to push. I was yelling my head off. I would make it through that contraction and felt bad for about 2 seconds. I remember apologizing for being so noisy. Then it came again. My body seemed to do what it was supposed to do. Erin and Robin were telling me to hold my breath. I was crying and yelling at the same time. I couldn't put it all together in my mind to make it all work. It felt surreal. I could hear everything, or at least I felt like I could, but I couldn't follow the instructions of anyone. Perhaps at that point my doctor said something, but I'm not sure. I could understand what was being said. The execution wasn't there. So after a bit more time I could hear Erin telling me to try to not scream, but to hold my breathe and use that force. I finally tried to focus on that. I went for it and I could sort of hear Chip telling me I was almost there. I tried again with all the force I had. Then once again. Then I see this baby on me. He had a full head of dark hair, wet and curly. His little cry made me cry. He was born at 9:17 a.m. and weighed in at a hefty 7 lbs. 10 oz. The biggest baby I've ever had.
I felt immediate relief physically, but was incredibly emotional. Chip cut the cord and little Carter was out in the world! From there on, it was an odd experience because I had Kaitlyn and Gillian vaginally, but had epidurals. So it was both painful and a new experience to have all the after stuff that happens going on. Some stitches were needed. That was somewhat painful, but my doctor was generous with the local every time I complained. I was so wrapped up in everything else, that I didn't realize that all of the events from walking into the hospital to the completion of the birth was approximately 1 hour and 10 minutes. Before long I was transferred to postpartum. Audrey was our first visitor and brought a little platypus for Carter that is blue with huge eyes. It's cute. She brought a turkey sandwich for Chip. I was starving by then, but nothing looked too appealing.
When I went to postpartum, it was to a wing of the hospital that was typically closed because all other rooms were being used. It looked fairly dated and was small. Poor Chip had a cot which didn't look very comfy. The hospital bed wasn't all that great either, but both of us were tired. I was a little disappointed because I had heard that there were "suites" and this definitely was not what I would classify as a suite. A few hours later we were moved and it was a beautiful suite with a great view and very spacious. The convertible bed for Chip really didn't look any more comfortable than the cot. In fact it looked more firm. The poor guy still managed to sleep on it. He had gone home for a few hours to check on the boys and be there until bed time. It was good that he could. I was incredibly grateful to not have had a c-section and be dealing with a surgical recovery.
I found myself very emotional as the night wore on. I've struggled with depression and particularly after my babies. It was a bit of the aftermath of birth and the surges of hormones I think. There were just so many thoughts running through my head that I couldn't seem to shut off. My night nurse Shelly came in to check on me and ended up staying for quite awhile. She shared with me her postpartum depression experience. There was a lot of weeping from me. We shared our histories and it just meant so much to me to connect with her. Every single person I came in contact with from the engineer who fixed the TV to the CNAs and nurses were so compassionate and just really nice. It was a far cry from the nursing staff in Vegas when we had the boys.
We decided to head home the next day instead of staying 2 days in the hospital. I was really unsure about that, but also felt the need to be at home.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
6/2 - 38 1/2 weeks...1st week off of work for maternity leave
Miserable. In pain. Can't sleep....same as most women. I shouldn't complain, but wow, not fun.
Glad to be on leave, but feel very insecure about work. I think it's a little separation anxiety. A little bit of guilt over not getting more done. Still have an expense report and a few other items to finish.
Still about 22lbs. weight gain and craving sugar and Mexican food. Well, I guess you can call Del Taco "Mexican Food".
Last doctor's appointment today...we're in the home stretch. Thank god!
Glad to be on leave, but feel very insecure about work. I think it's a little separation anxiety. A little bit of guilt over not getting more done. Still have an expense report and a few other items to finish.
Still about 22lbs. weight gain and craving sugar and Mexican food. Well, I guess you can call Del Taco "Mexican Food".
Last doctor's appointment today...we're in the home stretch. Thank god!
6/1 - Little boy milestones....
Ben sat on the potty tonight and little, itty bitty poo ended up in the frog potty. It's very humorous really, but he was wailing like crazy because daddy slapped him on the pot when he appeared to be trying to poop. It's crazy around here where poop is concerned. Each boy judges the other as to whether or not they "took a dump" "so and so has a nuuuuuuuget". Sometimes RyRy just has a "tail". Daddy has made it a game and it's funny. What's not so funny is the diaper rash and the constipation that we continually suffer. We should have bought stock in the MiraLax company.
We are so proud of Ben for sitting on the potty, but man he wailed the whole way. Even when we rewarded with M&Ms and a Hershey bar. Holy crap he had melted chocolate all over his hand, still crying and it became sorta comical. Ryan was crying with sympathy and Gary was hurrying right out of his diaper to get M&Ms. It was so funny but yet mixed with mayhem and chaos all at once.
Before all of this, Chip went to get them up this morning and since we've changed the room into toddler beds only. I mean just toddler beds, a couple of blankets, one stuffed animal and milk cups. Somehow they managed to move the beds to the center of the room. The beds no longer have wheels on the bottom. I couldn't believe it myself.
So back to bedtime we go. Boys go to bed and screw off. Slamming the blinds open and closed because that's all there is in the room. Flipping the mattress over to the wrong side. Again, because that's all there is in the room. No dresser, no nothing. So Chip goes up when the noise level was getting elevated. What do you know...beds in smashed in the corner and 2 of 3 boys with full diapers. Now it's only been about 1 hour since they went to bed. Everyone clean, blankets and goodnight kisses.
Chip and I look at each other and wonder what the hell we're doing. It keeps us so busy it's exhausting. Throw in jobs, the girls who aren't here and one more on the way...oh MY goodness. It seems almost too much for us. We wearily eat dinner, which is usually cheese and crackers, cereal, or some frozen thing and vegetate in front of the TV. Here it is almost 10:30 and we're in bed, trying to geek out, watch TV and rest a little before we start again tomorrow. Every day is very similar to today. Sometimes they are so much worse. The whining and crying drive me crazy and hauling my pregnant self around makes it pretty unpleasant.
I still believe without a doubt that I would not change a thing. Every day is a challenge some days worse than others. I love having this family, but man. I need to vent...thank you blog for my little place in the world to talk it out of my head.
We are so proud of Ben for sitting on the potty, but man he wailed the whole way. Even when we rewarded with M&Ms and a Hershey bar. Holy crap he had melted chocolate all over his hand, still crying and it became sorta comical. Ryan was crying with sympathy and Gary was hurrying right out of his diaper to get M&Ms. It was so funny but yet mixed with mayhem and chaos all at once.
Before all of this, Chip went to get them up this morning and since we've changed the room into toddler beds only. I mean just toddler beds, a couple of blankets, one stuffed animal and milk cups. Somehow they managed to move the beds to the center of the room. The beds no longer have wheels on the bottom. I couldn't believe it myself.
So back to bedtime we go. Boys go to bed and screw off. Slamming the blinds open and closed because that's all there is in the room. Flipping the mattress over to the wrong side. Again, because that's all there is in the room. No dresser, no nothing. So Chip goes up when the noise level was getting elevated. What do you know...beds in smashed in the corner and 2 of 3 boys with full diapers. Now it's only been about 1 hour since they went to bed. Everyone clean, blankets and goodnight kisses.
Chip and I look at each other and wonder what the hell we're doing. It keeps us so busy it's exhausting. Throw in jobs, the girls who aren't here and one more on the way...oh MY goodness. It seems almost too much for us. We wearily eat dinner, which is usually cheese and crackers, cereal, or some frozen thing and vegetate in front of the TV. Here it is almost 10:30 and we're in bed, trying to geek out, watch TV and rest a little before we start again tomorrow. Every day is very similar to today. Sometimes they are so much worse. The whining and crying drive me crazy and hauling my pregnant self around makes it pretty unpleasant.
I still believe without a doubt that I would not change a thing. Every day is a challenge some days worse than others. I love having this family, but man. I need to vent...thank you blog for my little place in the world to talk it out of my head.
Memorial Day Weekend - 5/31
Girls are here! It's been since April 4 since I've seen them. ..fight with Kaitlyn over her hair.
I'm totally nesting. Got all the baby clothes washed and things sort of cleaned out. Chip was concerned at all I was doing, but I just felt like I needed to do it.
We didn't go to Winnemucca. It was just too hard to cart everyone over there. I was a bit sad because I wanted to go to the cemetery. It's been a year. The other part of the sadness is that I really wanted to see my grandparents. Last year over Memorial Day was the last time and I'm not sure when we'll be able to see them again. I tried to Skype with Grammy, but mom's bandwidth was just difficult. It was all pixelated. At least she got to see the boys. Especially Ryan. He was a ham and said "Hi Grammy"! Kari and Heather were there since Heather is moving to the Sacramento area. They came through town after the weekend, but never stopped or sent a message. That was a bummer. I can understand that they weren't going to stop since Garrett and River were with them, but a message would have been nice. I emailed with Kari after and shared my feelings. That's enough.
Girls spent a good amount of time with their friends, but it was fantastic to spend time as a family as well. It was the beginning weekend of my maternity leave off. I did a lot, probably more than I should have. It was all nesting I'm sure.
Took the boys to the park both days. It was great, but tiring for me.
Fired up the fire pit for the first time in 2 years! Had a great time making s'mores. It was really nice to do that with just the girls and their friends.
Made the executive decision to buy a grill. Kaitlyn and I went to Lowe's and did some other errands. Lowe's had them pre assembled, so away we went!
As always it was very hard to take the girls to the airport. Flight delayed and a lot of sitting. I'm very uncomfortable these days, but wow...I feel a lot of guilt over moving. I feel guilt because of the time I miss with them, the disconnection that I often feel and constant coming and going on my end. Perhaps this decision was not a good one. I think I'm feeling some very strong emotions right now, but damn it I just don't know what to do next about the girls. Instinctually I want to fight for them and never stop. However, I feel guilty over not paying child support yet. I have asked for a payment plan. Then the anger sets in from their father not paying for so many years. Arrrgghhh! It's just too much. Right now may not be the best time to be thinking about this....
I'm totally nesting. Got all the baby clothes washed and things sort of cleaned out. Chip was concerned at all I was doing, but I just felt like I needed to do it.
We didn't go to Winnemucca. It was just too hard to cart everyone over there. I was a bit sad because I wanted to go to the cemetery. It's been a year. The other part of the sadness is that I really wanted to see my grandparents. Last year over Memorial Day was the last time and I'm not sure when we'll be able to see them again. I tried to Skype with Grammy, but mom's bandwidth was just difficult. It was all pixelated. At least she got to see the boys. Especially Ryan. He was a ham and said "Hi Grammy"! Kari and Heather were there since Heather is moving to the Sacramento area. They came through town after the weekend, but never stopped or sent a message. That was a bummer. I can understand that they weren't going to stop since Garrett and River were with them, but a message would have been nice. I emailed with Kari after and shared my feelings. That's enough.
Girls spent a good amount of time with their friends, but it was fantastic to spend time as a family as well. It was the beginning weekend of my maternity leave off. I did a lot, probably more than I should have. It was all nesting I'm sure.
Took the boys to the park both days. It was great, but tiring for me.
Fired up the fire pit for the first time in 2 years! Had a great time making s'mores. It was really nice to do that with just the girls and their friends.
Made the executive decision to buy a grill. Kaitlyn and I went to Lowe's and did some other errands. Lowe's had them pre assembled, so away we went!
As always it was very hard to take the girls to the airport. Flight delayed and a lot of sitting. I'm very uncomfortable these days, but wow...I feel a lot of guilt over moving. I feel guilt because of the time I miss with them, the disconnection that I often feel and constant coming and going on my end. Perhaps this decision was not a good one. I think I'm feeling some very strong emotions right now, but damn it I just don't know what to do next about the girls. Instinctually I want to fight for them and never stop. However, I feel guilty over not paying child support yet. I have asked for a payment plan. Then the anger sets in from their father not paying for so many years. Arrrgghhh! It's just too much. Right now may not be the best time to be thinking about this....
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
5/19 - First potty sit and family dinner
Today was quite the day. The boys are getting so big! Gary sat on the potty all by himself with NO diaper. Surely this is mundane for most, but not in our house! It was a milestone for us. This prompted a huge temper tantrum from Ben because Gary got M&Ms for sitting on the potty. He wailed for probably 20 minutes. The other two boys are completely mortified of sitting on the potty. It's sorta funny, but then again not because they are so terrified. For the life of me I can't figure out why. Chip has taken them into the bathroom and shown them how it was done. Ever since the boys really haven't wanted anything to do with potty. I even bought 3 different potty chairs to make it more fun. I'm not sure what else to try. They seem to be unable to put it all together. Gary however loved the glory today and sat on all 3 potty chairs with a naked but. Ironically he was wearing a shirt that said "Future President" that Christina brought for them from D.C. It was pretty cute.
We also had another first. Dinner at the table with the 5 of us. It was simple. Basically hamburger stroganoff with veggies and mushrooms thrown in. Poured over the top of wheat egg noodles. It didn't even really taste fantastic, but it was a moment that we hadn't experienced yet. It didn't seem to phase them. The boys were all over the map. Talking constantly and saying funny things. It cracked Chip and I up. They spent a fair amount of time saying "more bootie" and "more noodles". We kept telling them to "stab your noodles".
We ended the evening with chocolate cupcake from Costco. I've been craving them, so they are in the fridge from Mother's Day. I like the white cake so the boys get the chocolate ones. They're to die for! Anyway, we brushed their teeth after. All of them enjoyed that which was great.
It all then fell apart. Gary threw a fit over putting his pajamas on. Chip had him all but pinned to the floor. He was kicking and screaming the whole way. Of course then Ryan went off because he was scared for Gary. Ben was quiet, but then again he had his moment earlier in the day. It's so crazy to hear them wail. It's like fingernails down a chalkboard for 30 minutes at a time. All three carried on for at least that long at least once, probably more like twice each.
We also had another first. Dinner at the table with the 5 of us. It was simple. Basically hamburger stroganoff with veggies and mushrooms thrown in. Poured over the top of wheat egg noodles. It didn't even really taste fantastic, but it was a moment that we hadn't experienced yet. It didn't seem to phase them. The boys were all over the map. Talking constantly and saying funny things. It cracked Chip and I up. They spent a fair amount of time saying "more bootie" and "more noodles". We kept telling them to "stab your noodles".
We ended the evening with chocolate cupcake from Costco. I've been craving them, so they are in the fridge from Mother's Day. I like the white cake so the boys get the chocolate ones. They're to die for! Anyway, we brushed their teeth after. All of them enjoyed that which was great.
It all then fell apart. Gary threw a fit over putting his pajamas on. Chip had him all but pinned to the floor. He was kicking and screaming the whole way. Of course then Ryan went off because he was scared for Gary. Ben was quiet, but then again he had his moment earlier in the day. It's so crazy to hear them wail. It's like fingernails down a chalkboard for 30 minutes at a time. All three carried on for at least that long at least once, probably more like twice each.
5/19 - almost 37 weeks...can June 7 get here any faster?
Lost 3 lbs. Gained a total of 22 lbs. Belly and back are just incredibly painful. Works is busy. Preparing to go on maternity leave on June 1.
Not craving sugar as much, really loving Del Taco. Makes no sense, but it's true.
Not craving sugar as much, really loving Del Taco. Makes no sense, but it's true.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
5/15 - Fabulous Baby Shower!
Mom and I headed to Chris's around noon. What an amazing day! The weather was beautiful!
I was so looking forward to seeing Chris, Joyce and everyone else. I was so happy that Mom could come too. Chris sparkled, as she always does and had prepared wonderful food. The table was set so beautifully. Someday I aspire to be able to do that...
Kenna, Audrey, Michelle M. and Michelle Farren along with Chris, Joyce and Tami shared our afternoon. Time flew. More beautiful baby gifts. Everyone has done so much for us. It fills my heart. Just incredible to be able to visit and talk about a ton of stuff from the weather to working together.
Chip hung out with the boys at home and had a great day too. Again, wonderful husband takes it on and does it flawlessly. I on the other hand could not do much without him. And as I've been told "I don't do anything except work and travel". This has become a running joke in our house now.
5/15 - Before Baby Shower
Mom come from Winnemucca. It was great to see her! It had been since the end of January since she'd visited. The boys, although a little bit confused at first, were all over seeing grandma fairly quickly. On 5/14, Kristy posted on my FB page to call her "tomorrow" before 3, so that meant today before 3. Mom was in the shower and I was getting myself ready. It was really hard for me because I have so much animosity towards her. It's probably built up so much now that it's not very nice. I'll admit that much. Kristy said she was really sad she wasn't going to be able to be here for the shower. I told her I agreed. Then she told me a coworker had gall bladder surgery and that it just wasn't going to happen. I told her I didn't like it, but that's life. I was pretty frank, but could've said SO much more but didn't because she got the point of what I felt and I felt like I made myself clear. She herself brought up many more items than I would have. Finally I said it is what it is. She communicated that I couldn't possibly understand how hard it was for her. I think I absolutely can, but did not argue the point. Does that make me weak or strong? Sometimes I'm just not sure. The whole situation with my family is so frustrating. My perspective is that we up and moved to depend on them and here we are. On an island. There's always an excuse. ALWAYS. It's financial, it's work it's time, it's whatever you want to insert. Perhaps it sounds selfish and I certainly don't mean to be, but OMG, I really can't do it anymore. It was so much stress at first, but now it's beyond that. I'm not sure what to call it, but it's beyond that. So the conversation was fairly terse vs. combative. We hung up soon after. Kristy was crying. I was just frustrated.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
5/12 - almost 35 weeks
Gained 21 lbs. C-Section still on for June 7. Told the Dr. no tubal. Very quick appointment. Still not feeling it with their staff which is unfortunate.
May - The beginning of the end...
First week of May. Changed my mind from getting a tubal. Chip will get a vasectomy. I communicate this to him via IM from the bedroom to the office. Sorta funny, but it's just the kind of geeks we are.
5/5 - Meme meets the boys! I was so excited and really appreciated the effort of my aunt Joyce, who is always busy. It was very important to me that since Meme is 94 years old that she meet her great grandsons. She's still amazingly active. They stayed about 20 min. It was so good to see her.
5/5 - Contacted our real estate agent Maria to see if it's prudent to short sell the Vegas houses. She indicated we'd have to tell our renters, which for Sweet Jewel was fine, but our other house is rented by a nice but young family who signed...but not really signed because they had issues with one clause...an 18 month lease. It bothers me to have to tell them. We opt to put it on hold for a little bit and figure out what we really want to do. Barely treading water and trying to pay everything will not continue to work long term. The home owners association is after us for mega fees for a "dead" lawn that we have pictures of it not being dead. What a mess.
5/6 - See a FBook post of Ron visiting Kristy. Ugh...I can't stand that guy. I have such strong feelings about him too. None of it good. Seems like more and more Reno trips from Kristy, but she never stops to visit. It's disheartening to know we moved here and that our adopted families from out of state come visit more often than my family that is either in town or at the very most 3 hours away.
5/7 - Christina surprises me with arrival for Mother's Day weekend. AWESOME! It was so great to see her. Always is. She's amazing and definitely a sister to me. The boys are incredibly happy to see their 'Nina. We take boys to the playground which was really windy, but still fun. It was great that Christina and Chip could play with them since it's harder and harder for me to move around as my belly continues to grow. The only hard part was seeing Christina go. Our visits are so fun and the boys are just so excited to hang out with her.
5/9 - It was a lovely Mother's Day. Chip brings Tuberose stems from Costco with great Mexican food and Costco CUPCAKES! Those cupcakes have been an obsession during this pregnancy. Definitely not healthy, but boy were they YUMILICIOUS! We had a wonderful night. My life is blessed with my wonderful husband. He does so much for our family and for me. Takes care of me during pregnancy and wrangles the little guys. We all do a lot, but he REALLY does a lot. I could not function without him and feel so fortunate to be married to him.
5/12 - Lunch with The Nugget girls. Amanda, Michelle, Christine and Audrey. Great gifts at Great Basin. We had a lovely lunch and nice little "Nugget Baby Shower". So many wonderful gifts. I so enjoy living here and having such good true friends. I do miss the few awesome friends I have in Vegas, but have met some really good people here. All these ladies are good eggs! Those are hard to come by.
34 wks, 5 days appointment...see next post.
5/5 - Meme meets the boys! I was so excited and really appreciated the effort of my aunt Joyce, who is always busy. It was very important to me that since Meme is 94 years old that she meet her great grandsons. She's still amazingly active. They stayed about 20 min. It was so good to see her.
5/5 - Contacted our real estate agent Maria to see if it's prudent to short sell the Vegas houses. She indicated we'd have to tell our renters, which for Sweet Jewel was fine, but our other house is rented by a nice but young family who signed...but not really signed because they had issues with one clause...an 18 month lease. It bothers me to have to tell them. We opt to put it on hold for a little bit and figure out what we really want to do. Barely treading water and trying to pay everything will not continue to work long term. The home owners association is after us for mega fees for a "dead" lawn that we have pictures of it not being dead. What a mess.
5/6 - See a FBook post of Ron visiting Kristy. Ugh...I can't stand that guy. I have such strong feelings about him too. None of it good. Seems like more and more Reno trips from Kristy, but she never stops to visit. It's disheartening to know we moved here and that our adopted families from out of state come visit more often than my family that is either in town or at the very most 3 hours away.
5/7 - Christina surprises me with arrival for Mother's Day weekend. AWESOME! It was so great to see her. Always is. She's amazing and definitely a sister to me. The boys are incredibly happy to see their 'Nina. We take boys to the playground which was really windy, but still fun. It was great that Christina and Chip could play with them since it's harder and harder for me to move around as my belly continues to grow. The only hard part was seeing Christina go. Our visits are so fun and the boys are just so excited to hang out with her.
5/9 - It was a lovely Mother's Day. Chip brings Tuberose stems from Costco with great Mexican food and Costco CUPCAKES! Those cupcakes have been an obsession during this pregnancy. Definitely not healthy, but boy were they YUMILICIOUS! We had a wonderful night. My life is blessed with my wonderful husband. He does so much for our family and for me. Takes care of me during pregnancy and wrangles the little guys. We all do a lot, but he REALLY does a lot. I could not function without him and feel so fortunate to be married to him.
5/12 - Lunch with The Nugget girls. Amanda, Michelle, Christine and Audrey. Great gifts at Great Basin. We had a lovely lunch and nice little "Nugget Baby Shower". So many wonderful gifts. I so enjoy living here and having such good true friends. I do miss the few awesome friends I have in Vegas, but have met some really good people here. All these ladies are good eggs! Those are hard to come by.
34 wks, 5 days appointment...see next post.
Rest of April
My new company is an amazing company and I feel incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to work for them. I'm especially grateful that I was hired while pregnant and that the benefits package is so good that I do get 6 to 8 weeks paid leave. That's so rare these days. However, the job continues to be a bit challenging. I think I'm realizing that the company is growing really fast and restructuring at the same time, which has put a lot on the account managers. I think the other element is that I've been doing the same thing for 10 years and this is totally different...sorta. Distribution, but all points of distribution for hotels. It's really interesting to take it all in, but I find I am frustrated trying to remember all the processes and points that need to be touched in any given situation from a customer. From new hotels to using a highly customized version of SF.com, some days are really tough. Throw in an emotional pregnant lady and some days are SO not pretty. Some days have been exhausting. I also have a hard time working for this woman I report to. She seems to micromanage. Copy her on all emails? Lordy! be realistic!
I am finding that I'm becoming really bitter not seeing my family. Especially my mom and my sister. My sister seems to come and go to Reno and can't find time to stop when she has no choice but to pass my exit every time she is in town. Chip tells me to let it go, but it's not easy to know that we moved here for more support and it just hasn't happened. Lately I understand about my mom not being here because she was hired as a temp for the census. I'm excited for her because I know she can do it and be an independent person. She has struggled since my dad passed. Struggled in every aspect. Hopefully this will be a long enough term to help get things in order. I often wish I could do more for her. It's also a shame that when someone dies and doesn't have insurance that basically if the spouse didn't work that it's very difficult. Of course any sort of assistance takes forever if you're not in the system. It's rough.
April also brought a very pleasant surprise. J.F.'s mom reached out to me. I was surprised and happy. A few years ago she reached out as well and I wasn't ready and told her so. Now times are different, the girls are older and it's a much better time and place to have J.F.'s family in my life and in the girl's lives. They do need to know their family. To what extent I'm not sure yet, but they do need to know a select few. It has been really nice to begin to build a relationship. I'm not sure how to integrate this new relationship into the girl's life, but we'll find a way. It was surprising to hear the voice of support. For that I'm grateful. We'll see how things go as we communicate more. That looks like it might be a very good thing!
I am finding that I'm becoming really bitter not seeing my family. Especially my mom and my sister. My sister seems to come and go to Reno and can't find time to stop when she has no choice but to pass my exit every time she is in town. Chip tells me to let it go, but it's not easy to know that we moved here for more support and it just hasn't happened. Lately I understand about my mom not being here because she was hired as a temp for the census. I'm excited for her because I know she can do it and be an independent person. She has struggled since my dad passed. Struggled in every aspect. Hopefully this will be a long enough term to help get things in order. I often wish I could do more for her. It's also a shame that when someone dies and doesn't have insurance that basically if the spouse didn't work that it's very difficult. Of course any sort of assistance takes forever if you're not in the system. It's rough.
April also brought a very pleasant surprise. J.F.'s mom reached out to me. I was surprised and happy. A few years ago she reached out as well and I wasn't ready and told her so. Now times are different, the girls are older and it's a much better time and place to have J.F.'s family in my life and in the girl's lives. They do need to know their family. To what extent I'm not sure yet, but they do need to know a select few. It has been really nice to begin to build a relationship. I'm not sure how to integrate this new relationship into the girl's life, but we'll find a way. It was surprising to hear the voice of support. For that I'm grateful. We'll see how things go as we communicate more. That looks like it might be a very good thing!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
The Present...The Family...
It's been very crazy and stressful on top of pregnancy. These posts are brief, but I want to be able to hit the high points. This blog is my "diary" of sorts. Things I want to remember, yet sometimes want to forget. I hope that in the future when things improve I can look back and be proud we made it through the situations.
4/08 - Kaitlyn and her asthma meds, hospital experience. Had to fly to Vegas, but could not get a flight until the next morning.
4/09 - Kaitlyn at Siena, transferred to Montevista. J.F. and I pull her out of Montevista. Nurses and quack doctor refuse to let us go. Nurses have had about 5 minutes with her and the doctor just "decided" that she shouldn't leave. He indicated he would get CPS involved to come after us. We leave with Kaitlyn after the staff had told her we had left without even saying goodbye! Kaitlyn was "integrated" right away. It was a cold and somewhat uncontrolled place. It just seemed wrong and that it wasn't the solution. It took a call and much political correctness to convince the chief of staff (Doctor) that we were OK to leave. We went "against the advice of the doctor" but we got the hell out. For once, despite our unspoken child support fight, J.F. and I came together to make the best decisions for Kaitlyn. I could not believe we were dealing with this situation. It worries me. I learn during this visit that J.F. and Kaitlyn are fighting all the time. Of course I was never clued in, but now it's crisis and Kaitlyn won't discuss it, but John has plenty to say about her potty mouth and defiance. Part of it is that she's 14 and maybe she's discovering that her dad isn't full of the magic she once thought. Maybe it's depression...yep, that's it according to her dad and because I've fought it for half my life, it's from me. He doesn't come out and say this, but it's very clear. I think...OK, whatever. The main issue is to help our daughter, whatever that may be.
I end up staying at J.F.'s house and overnighted, which was not my plan. I stayed in Gillian's room, Gillian bunked with John and Kaitlyn in her room. I told both the girls that this was a rare occurrence for a specific reason and that I had no plans of getting back together with their dad. However, after spending the day with him and despite our coming together to help Kaitlyn, I realized (for the millionth time) why we were never good together and never should have been. We are such different people. I could go on for days about it, but I won't. 'Nuff said.
4/12 through 4/15 - Last trip before delivery to the Dallas office. Met Carrie for the first time. Still attempting to get a grip on all the processes and options for my Sabre customers as well as dealing with pregnancy brain. It was an exhausting 4 days, but so great to meet Kristin in person. I attached to her hip all week and she was WONDERFUL! I also spent a bit of time with Carrie chatting and that great. Connie is wonderful too. Also met Will and David. It's a fabulous group and again, I'm so grateful to work at home and for a good company such as SHS. Not sure about my director. The micromanagement frustrating. I feel like it's more of a peer relationship vs. director to manager. There's a lot that bugs me about it. I'm not the only one. Our team has all expressed (to each other) our skepticism.
4/15 - Returned from Dallas to a notice from child support office notifying me of revoking of driver's license. Due to lack of payment. Never mind the fact that the NV child support office indicated that they would be garnishing my wages, which they never did. Then I faxed the sheet back that notified of the drivers license revocation indicating I wanted a payment plan. They still have the amounts wrong. I also have faxed the schedule of payments that John had provided. I still cannot get my caseworker Ms. Carpenter to talk to me. It's so frustrating. However, I am not excited about getting John involved and begging him to get the state off of my back. When it rains it pours...I swear to god!
4/20 - Our taxes are now late. We've discovered we're facing a 6k tax bill due to "making too much money". Thus we are unable to write off 16k in loss from the houses. It's funny (not haha) that we seem to make so much money and we really have to think twice about ordering a pizza. We can't even think of doing anything else. There just isn't any extra money. None. Nada. It's very depressing. We keep chugging along. We are revisiting the short sale option. Maybe it's even bankruptcy. I don't know. I'm not even sure where to begin to talk to someone. More worries...more worries.
4/08 - Kaitlyn and her asthma meds, hospital experience. Had to fly to Vegas, but could not get a flight until the next morning.
4/09 - Kaitlyn at Siena, transferred to Montevista. J.F. and I pull her out of Montevista. Nurses and quack doctor refuse to let us go. Nurses have had about 5 minutes with her and the doctor just "decided" that she shouldn't leave. He indicated he would get CPS involved to come after us. We leave with Kaitlyn after the staff had told her we had left without even saying goodbye! Kaitlyn was "integrated" right away. It was a cold and somewhat uncontrolled place. It just seemed wrong and that it wasn't the solution. It took a call and much political correctness to convince the chief of staff (Doctor) that we were OK to leave. We went "against the advice of the doctor" but we got the hell out. For once, despite our unspoken child support fight, J.F. and I came together to make the best decisions for Kaitlyn. I could not believe we were dealing with this situation. It worries me. I learn during this visit that J.F. and Kaitlyn are fighting all the time. Of course I was never clued in, but now it's crisis and Kaitlyn won't discuss it, but John has plenty to say about her potty mouth and defiance. Part of it is that she's 14 and maybe she's discovering that her dad isn't full of the magic she once thought. Maybe it's depression...yep, that's it according to her dad and because I've fought it for half my life, it's from me. He doesn't come out and say this, but it's very clear. I think...OK, whatever. The main issue is to help our daughter, whatever that may be.
I end up staying at J.F.'s house and overnighted, which was not my plan. I stayed in Gillian's room, Gillian bunked with John and Kaitlyn in her room. I told both the girls that this was a rare occurrence for a specific reason and that I had no plans of getting back together with their dad. However, after spending the day with him and despite our coming together to help Kaitlyn, I realized (for the millionth time) why we were never good together and never should have been. We are such different people. I could go on for days about it, but I won't. 'Nuff said.
4/12 through 4/15 - Last trip before delivery to the Dallas office. Met Carrie for the first time. Still attempting to get a grip on all the processes and options for my Sabre customers as well as dealing with pregnancy brain. It was an exhausting 4 days, but so great to meet Kristin in person. I attached to her hip all week and she was WONDERFUL! I also spent a bit of time with Carrie chatting and that great. Connie is wonderful too. Also met Will and David. It's a fabulous group and again, I'm so grateful to work at home and for a good company such as SHS. Not sure about my director. The micromanagement frustrating. I feel like it's more of a peer relationship vs. director to manager. There's a lot that bugs me about it. I'm not the only one. Our team has all expressed (to each other) our skepticism.
4/15 - Returned from Dallas to a notice from child support office notifying me of revoking of driver's license. Due to lack of payment. Never mind the fact that the NV child support office indicated that they would be garnishing my wages, which they never did. Then I faxed the sheet back that notified of the drivers license revocation indicating I wanted a payment plan. They still have the amounts wrong. I also have faxed the schedule of payments that John had provided. I still cannot get my caseworker Ms. Carpenter to talk to me. It's so frustrating. However, I am not excited about getting John involved and begging him to get the state off of my back. When it rains it pours...I swear to god!
4/20 - Our taxes are now late. We've discovered we're facing a 6k tax bill due to "making too much money". Thus we are unable to write off 16k in loss from the houses. It's funny (not haha) that we seem to make so much money and we really have to think twice about ordering a pizza. We can't even think of doing anything else. There just isn't any extra money. None. Nada. It's very depressing. We keep chugging along. We are revisiting the short sale option. Maybe it's even bankruptcy. I don't know. I'm not even sure where to begin to talk to someone. More worries...more worries.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
March is OUTTA HERE! 29 Weeks and counting!
What a month it has been. I'm certain that I just saw March coming in. It seems like it just got here and now I'm not sure where it's gone.
I think in this blog post I'll work backwards. Today I had my 7 month appointment. I've gained 14 lbs. total, which is good. I'd like to not go over 15lbs, but that's what happens when I eat cupcakes. The sugar is just undeniable! Anyway, baby is doing great. Strong heartbeat and very uneventful appointment. The best part was that we are scheduled for a c-section on June 7. YAY!
I think in this blog post I'll work backwards. Today I had my 7 month appointment. I've gained 14 lbs. total, which is good. I'd like to not go over 15lbs, but that's what happens when I eat cupcakes. The sugar is just undeniable! Anyway, baby is doing great. Strong heartbeat and very uneventful appointment. The best part was that we are scheduled for a c-section on June 7. YAY!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Beginning of February - New beginnings
February 1 through 14
Brandi started with us full time on Feb. 1. All has gone well so far. She seems to be hapy and we're happy to have her. It's wonderful to find a young person who has some ambition and common sense. She's really enjoying getting outside with the boys when the weather cooperates. They lay down really well for her too. Certainly better than Chip and I!
All is good with Synxis. More training. Verdict still out on my new boss, so we'll see. Accounts are now being turned over. Starting tomorrow we should be moving forward with me handling them. Going to Dallas for the customer forum and to start meeting people the week of Feb. 22. That will be good for everyone!
Girls arrived on 2/12. It's always fast and furious. Kaitlyn really wants to come here for high school and her dad is full of resistance. I have heard so much that doesn't surprise me. My advice and requirements to Kaitlyn were a). Commit for at least a year and b). I'll help you with anything you need, but you need to be painfully honest or it won't work. Her dad is now taking her to a psychologist which I'm sure will be a fight until the bitter end for me to get information. I will keep trying though. It's very difficult when her dad's history has been to be so controlling. Nothing much has changed there. It's unfortunate, because all th rest of us pay the price. I predict that we'll be in front of our judge again for Kaitlyn to talk about where she wants to be. I just want her to be happy.
Child support has started this month. I admit, I'm exceptionally bitter since John got off scott free for 5 1/2 years due to my generosity. Hopefully karma will continue to be good to me. However, it isn't starting well with him "deciding" (and yes, he can really do that) to garnish my wages, even if I have no history of non-payment. That means we have to run all payments through the court system and continue to have them involved. All because he just can. The hardest part for me is that I'm not fighting him on anything. Not fighting back, not being horrible about it. In fact, I'm probably still not being anal enough about times, visits, calls, etc. I just don't have a guilty conscience. Just like I don't have trust issues in my new marriage after the 7 affairs in 6 years that my ex-husband had. I just OK with most things that make sense to me. What does not make one bit of sense is that while I have been nice, accommodating and lenient, I have paid the price both financially and emotionally with losing almost everything as it relates to the girls. It's a tough, bitter pill to swallow. I just hope and pray that karma stays in my corner. I'm attempting to write their dad a letter and ask him to work directly with me on child support, but I expect that will fall on deaf ears. It's really beyond sad for me.
On a much more positive note, today is Valentines Day. The 9th that Chip and I have spent together. Today it is filled with kid stuff which is fine with me. There is amazing joy in this house when we're here with ALL of our kids. Each day we're together is a gift. Everyone, whether we're doing something together or the kids are doing their own thing, feels the harmony I think. It makes me feel complete. At this moment, behind me I hear Chip playing games on the Leapster with Ryan and he is squealing with joy. Gillian is talking to herself and playing with her Webkinz on the computer. Kaitlyn is on the sofa and has Gary on her lap. Ben is next to daddy and acting like the little engineer I predict he will become. Me and the sprout are blogging and sharing coffee this morning. It's still a struggle with this pregnancy for me. Tired, tired, tired. It's all good because the little guy is healthy. We're working on names right now. We like Patrick and I really like Carter (Chip isn't all onboard with that one). Sean was on the list, but I don't like how it sounds. We'll see. We've got time.
Later today the girls and I will make chocolate covered strawberries to celebrate Valentines day. Gillian and Kaitlyn also asked to go geocaching with Chip. I'm so happy that the girls love him so much. He's very good to them and I'm proud of that. Very proud. Perhaps it's just one of those days, I don't know. I feel an amazing amount of love and gratitude today.
Brandi started with us full time on Feb. 1. All has gone well so far. She seems to be hapy and we're happy to have her. It's wonderful to find a young person who has some ambition and common sense. She's really enjoying getting outside with the boys when the weather cooperates. They lay down really well for her too. Certainly better than Chip and I!
All is good with Synxis. More training. Verdict still out on my new boss, so we'll see. Accounts are now being turned over. Starting tomorrow we should be moving forward with me handling them. Going to Dallas for the customer forum and to start meeting people the week of Feb. 22. That will be good for everyone!
Girls arrived on 2/12. It's always fast and furious. Kaitlyn really wants to come here for high school and her dad is full of resistance. I have heard so much that doesn't surprise me. My advice and requirements to Kaitlyn were a). Commit for at least a year and b). I'll help you with anything you need, but you need to be painfully honest or it won't work. Her dad is now taking her to a psychologist which I'm sure will be a fight until the bitter end for me to get information. I will keep trying though. It's very difficult when her dad's history has been to be so controlling. Nothing much has changed there. It's unfortunate, because all th rest of us pay the price. I predict that we'll be in front of our judge again for Kaitlyn to talk about where she wants to be. I just want her to be happy.
Child support has started this month. I admit, I'm exceptionally bitter since John got off scott free for 5 1/2 years due to my generosity. Hopefully karma will continue to be good to me. However, it isn't starting well with him "deciding" (and yes, he can really do that) to garnish my wages, even if I have no history of non-payment. That means we have to run all payments through the court system and continue to have them involved. All because he just can. The hardest part for me is that I'm not fighting him on anything. Not fighting back, not being horrible about it. In fact, I'm probably still not being anal enough about times, visits, calls, etc. I just don't have a guilty conscience. Just like I don't have trust issues in my new marriage after the 7 affairs in 6 years that my ex-husband had. I just OK with most things that make sense to me. What does not make one bit of sense is that while I have been nice, accommodating and lenient, I have paid the price both financially and emotionally with losing almost everything as it relates to the girls. It's a tough, bitter pill to swallow. I just hope and pray that karma stays in my corner. I'm attempting to write their dad a letter and ask him to work directly with me on child support, but I expect that will fall on deaf ears. It's really beyond sad for me.
On a much more positive note, today is Valentines Day. The 9th that Chip and I have spent together. Today it is filled with kid stuff which is fine with me. There is amazing joy in this house when we're here with ALL of our kids. Each day we're together is a gift. Everyone, whether we're doing something together or the kids are doing their own thing, feels the harmony I think. It makes me feel complete. At this moment, behind me I hear Chip playing games on the Leapster with Ryan and he is squealing with joy. Gillian is talking to herself and playing with her Webkinz on the computer. Kaitlyn is on the sofa and has Gary on her lap. Ben is next to daddy and acting like the little engineer I predict he will become. Me and the sprout are blogging and sharing coffee this morning. It's still a struggle with this pregnancy for me. Tired, tired, tired. It's all good because the little guy is healthy. We're working on names right now. We like Patrick and I really like Carter (Chip isn't all onboard with that one). Sean was on the list, but I don't like how it sounds. We'll see. We've got time.
Later today the girls and I will make chocolate covered strawberries to celebrate Valentines day. Gillian and Kaitlyn also asked to go geocaching with Chip. I'm so happy that the girls love him so much. He's very good to them and I'm proud of that. Very proud. Perhaps it's just one of those days, I don't know. I feel an amazing amount of love and gratitude today.
End of January/Very begin of Feb. - Baby thoughts and struggles
It's a new month. Little boy in the tummy is moving around more and more each day. I'm craving so many sweets, carbs and cheese. It's really weird. Tired all the time. This pregnancy is hard and taxing. I'm not sure why. The doctors says it's because I'm almost 38, work full time and have three 2 1/2 yr. olds. Hmmm. Maybe he has a point. Still not connecting with him. (January 25)
I'm constantly concerned with my weight. I had plenty to start with and struggle with sugar cravings. For all I do and have done to be an advocate for whole organic food, I'm sure not living it with my indulgence in Peeps, Rice Crispy treats and cheeseburgers. Just not good. I'll continue to fight it. Maybe there's some deep seated guilt or something going on in my mind that I just haven't figured out yet.
Belly is popping out, I'm averaging about 8 lbs. of weight gain since the beginning. I'd like to stay at 10lbs, but will probably be more at the 15 lb. mark. That will be plenty I think. In order to do that, I'll refer to my earlier comments...I need to get OFF the sugar train. I'm sure I'd feel better too. Add a bit of walking and I'd have it made. Time for action, but the energy is sure lacking.
I've also stayed on my the depression medication the longest with this pregnancy. I'm not sure why that is. I have a few theories....this was a surprise...there's so much more stress in my life...and there's more I suppose. I'm conflicted as to whether to take better care of baby and quit or just do the right thing for me. I really need to give that more thought.
I've ordered a crib, a bouncer and a swing. Makes me wonder why I gave away all the stuff we had. Oh, I don't know...maybe because I thought we were done? Probably! Any way it will be fine. I think we'll turn grandma's room into baby room and then I hope to turn the loft into our office and make our old office a guest room. We'll see. The finances aren't there right now. I'm still stirring the pot with new online businesses to make more money, but again...energy isn't there, but I'm working on it. I think I'm my own biggest critic. Actually I know I am.
Until next time...
I'm constantly concerned with my weight. I had plenty to start with and struggle with sugar cravings. For all I do and have done to be an advocate for whole organic food, I'm sure not living it with my indulgence in Peeps, Rice Crispy treats and cheeseburgers. Just not good. I'll continue to fight it. Maybe there's some deep seated guilt or something going on in my mind that I just haven't figured out yet.
Belly is popping out, I'm averaging about 8 lbs. of weight gain since the beginning. I'd like to stay at 10lbs, but will probably be more at the 15 lb. mark. That will be plenty I think. In order to do that, I'll refer to my earlier comments...I need to get OFF the sugar train. I'm sure I'd feel better too. Add a bit of walking and I'd have it made. Time for action, but the energy is sure lacking.
I've also stayed on my the depression medication the longest with this pregnancy. I'm not sure why that is. I have a few theories....this was a surprise...there's so much more stress in my life...and there's more I suppose. I'm conflicted as to whether to take better care of baby and quit or just do the right thing for me. I really need to give that more thought.
I've ordered a crib, a bouncer and a swing. Makes me wonder why I gave away all the stuff we had. Oh, I don't know...maybe because I thought we were done? Probably! Any way it will be fine. I think we'll turn grandma's room into baby room and then I hope to turn the loft into our office and make our old office a guest room. We'll see. The finances aren't there right now. I'm still stirring the pot with new online businesses to make more money, but again...energy isn't there, but I'm working on it. I think I'm my own biggest critic. Actually I know I am.
Until next time...
Friday, January 29, 2010
End of January - Little boys growing up
I can't believe how fast these little guys are growing!
We have a new ritual...Watching the Disney movie "Cars". The boys just love it. I was as surprised as anyone that they actually are interested in it. One evening we took out "couchbed" and I made a batch of popcorn! HOLY COW! They loved it. Had a fantastic time. So did mommy and daddy. We finished the movie after they went to bed. It was too funny. Our first family time. It's wonderful. I love it.
All the little guys are using semi-full sentences. Like "Watch Teletubbies" from Ben and "Daddy do it" from Gary and RyRy still talks the most "Uh-Oh phone". "Ready eat" is pretty common from both Ben and Ryan. Gary tends to drag out his words adding more syllables.
Ben is far more out of his shell, talks some. Ben tends to cry more to communicate his wants or speaks in one or two words. He LOVES the Leapster game and they all really fight over it. They also like our old cell phones. Gary and Ryan fight and "trade" often. Gary and Ryan also use the phones and say "Take a picture". Ryan also says "Get up" and both Gary and Ryan say "Open gate" and "Go outside".
All of the boys are sitting at the table with no trays and eating with utensils a good amount of the time. Ryan and Gary LOVE Bacon and meats. Ben on the other hand is our carb boy. All of them like corn, Pirate's Booty, Cheetos and hot dogs. Mac and Cheese is a fave too along with any pasta with red sauce. We've graduated from sippy cups with handles to "new cups" and plastic plates with Monkeys on them. We still had a few from when Kaitlyn and Gillian were little, so on occasion they eat off of a Barbie or Power Puff Girl plate. I don't think it will cause too much damage.
As for movies, they still like shapes, but are really into Teletubbies and watching YouTube videos while we eat. They like Laurie Berkner "5 days old" and "Family". They hear it so often, they like to even sing along. Gary loves to have "iPod on". All the boys love their sister's when they're here. They tell the girls "come in Gill Gill" or "KK do it".
Gary is obsessed with accessories. He loves glasses and shoes. We joke often that maybe he'll be a fashion designer...
Ryan is still very particular about clothes. He still loves stripes and red. Bat shirt is less now. Sometimes it's not fun when he doesn't like what he has to choose from, but we make it through some morning fits to get him dressed.
All 3 boys have had trouble over the last 6 months at least with constipation. That seems to be going away. Thank goodness! I was beginning to think we needed to buy stock in the Miralax company.
Video of singing and popcorn eating...along with images.
Monday, January 25, 2010
5 Month OB Checkup
Big day today! 5 month check up. Still not crazy about the doc, but its OK.
We had a huge ultrasound today. We are having a boy! Great pictures for the file for sure! The appointment took about 1 hour. So much different from the triplets. Chip thinks it's because we aren't "special". Maybe. This pregnancy is so different.
There is so much that is different. Different place, different time. However, it feels colder. I don't know what to make of it really. We came home and told mom first. Then we posted on Facebook. (Five years from now I'll look back at this blog and go OMG...I can't believe it was just FB then. LOL).
January 25 - so much activity and change....
Just starting the second week of the new job. Lots of new stuff. Many webinars and webex meetings. I love it. Equipment is here and appears to be working fine. Connected with the new boss. She seems very nice. A former TravelCLICK employee. We had met before, but are pretty much acquaintences. Ironically Natalie brought us together. Can't believe how over the last 10 years the people I've met and worked with have been key in situations as time has passed. It's all good. It reminds me NEVER to burn a bridge if it can be helped. Hopefully the good job trend will continue. It feels so good to start new things. Really using my mind and learning. Getting the office together too. I'm really happy for that too. Tax time is around the corner, so we need to get organized anyway. Hopefully the numbers will work in our favor.
Received a notice of delinquency from the child support division. I know, I know...Happy New Year to me, right? Gotta love former spouses. What a jackass he is!
My mom also came to us in the last few weeks and let us know she actually wants to have her own life! She has done so much for us. But yeah, she totally deserves to live her life. She's been doing for us and everyone else since my dad's death in October of 2007. I'm proud of her strength. I'm proud of her toughness. We'll be fine...more than fine. She's got many, many years to live and should be happy, happy, happy. Everyone does.
So the first thing I did was put an ad out on Craigslist. I received over 10 responses in the first 24 hours and I posted the ad at 10p. Brandi was the first to answer. I immediately felt good things about it. She came over on Monday afternoon, and then we decided her first day would be 1/25/10. Unfortunately she got sick and I sort went into a panic. Really there was no need for it. She came and began her first full week on 2/1/10.
Received a notice of delinquency from the child support division. I know, I know...Happy New Year to me, right? Gotta love former spouses. What a jackass he is!
My mom also came to us in the last few weeks and let us know she actually wants to have her own life! She has done so much for us. But yeah, she totally deserves to live her life. She's been doing for us and everyone else since my dad's death in October of 2007. I'm proud of her strength. I'm proud of her toughness. We'll be fine...more than fine. She's got many, many years to live and should be happy, happy, happy. Everyone does.
So the first thing I did was put an ad out on Craigslist. I received over 10 responses in the first 24 hours and I posted the ad at 10p. Brandi was the first to answer. I immediately felt good things about it. She came over on Monday afternoon, and then we decided her first day would be 1/25/10. Unfortunately she got sick and I sort went into a panic. Really there was no need for it. She came and began her first full week on 2/1/10.
Friday, January 8, 2010
New Years and more - 2010...so far so good!
New Year's was really nice. Very quiet. We stayed home and watched on TV. It seemed like it took forever for the West Coast get the festivities. CNN was hilarious with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin. So we quietly watched that. Hortons called and talked for quite awhile. Finally we saw Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve. Didn't start until 10p. So sad to have to wait so late. What's up with the tape delay? Anyway, we did ring in the New Year (barely) at midnight. All of us were tired. Fred and Celia were with us. We had a toast and hugs and kisses and then off to bed we went!
There's a new job for me this year too! On Monday, January 4 I had a phone interview with Synxis and got an offer the next day! I
There's a new job for me this year too! On Monday, January 4 I had a phone interview with Synxis and got an offer the next day! I
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