5/19 - First potty sit and family dinner

Today was quite the day. The boys are getting so big! Gary sat on the potty all by himself with NO diaper. Surely this is mundane for most, but not in our house! It was a milestone for us. This prompted a huge temper tantrum from Ben because Gary got M&Ms for sitting on the potty. He wailed for probably 20 minutes. The other two boys are completely mortified of sitting on the potty. It's sorta funny, but then again not because they are so terrified. For the life of me I can't figure out why. Chip has taken them into the bathroom and shown them how it was done. Ever since the boys really haven't wanted anything to do with potty. I even bought 3 different potty chairs to make it more fun. I'm not sure what else to try. They seem to be unable to put it all together. Gary however loved the glory today and sat on all 3 potty chairs with a naked but. Ironically he was wearing a shirt that said "Future President" that Christina brought for them from D.C. It was pretty cute.

We also had another first. Dinner at the table with the 5 of us. It was simple. Basically hamburger stroganoff with veggies and mushrooms thrown in. Poured over the top of wheat egg noodles. It didn't even really taste fantastic, but it was a moment that we hadn't experienced yet. It didn't seem to phase them. The boys were all over the map. Talking constantly and saying funny things. It cracked Chip and I up. They spent a fair amount of time saying "more bootie" and "more noodles". We kept telling them to "stab your noodles".

We ended the evening with chocolate cupcake from Costco. I've been craving them, so they are in the fridge from Mother's Day. I like the white cake so the boys get the chocolate ones. They're to die for! Anyway, we brushed their teeth after. All of them enjoyed that which was great.

It all then fell apart. Gary threw a fit over putting his pajamas on. Chip had him all but pinned to the floor. He was kicking and screaming the whole way. Of course then Ryan went off because he was scared for Gary. Ben was quiet, but then again he had his moment earlier in the day. It's so crazy to hear them wail. It's like fingernails down a chalkboard for 30 minutes at a time. All three carried on for at least that long at least once, probably more like twice each.

5/19 - almost 37 weeks...can June 7 get here any faster?

Lost 3 lbs. Gained a total of 22 lbs. Belly and back are just incredibly painful. Works is busy. Preparing to go on maternity leave on June 1.

Not craving sugar as much, really loving Del Taco. Makes no sense, but it's true.

5/15 - Fabulous Baby Shower!

Mom and I headed to Chris's around noon. What an amazing day! The weather was beautiful!

I was so looking forward to seeing Chris, Joyce and everyone else. I was so happy that Mom could come too. Chris sparkled, as she always does and had prepared wonderful food. The table was set so beautifully. Someday I aspire to be able to do that...

Kenna, Audrey, Michelle M. and Michelle Farren along with Chris, Joyce and Tami shared our afternoon. Time flew. More beautiful baby gifts. Everyone has done so much for us. It fills my heart. Just incredible to be able to visit and talk about a ton of stuff from the weather to working together.

Chip hung out with the boys at home and had a great day too. Again, wonderful husband takes it on and does it flawlessly. I on the other hand could not do much without him. And as I've been told "I don't do anything except work and travel". This has become a running joke in our house now.

5/15 - Before Baby Shower

Mom come from Winnemucca. It was great to see her! It had been since the end of January since she'd visited. The boys, although a little bit confused at first, were all over seeing grandma fairly quickly. On 5/14, Kristy posted on my FB page to call her "tomorrow" before 3, so that meant today before 3. Mom was in the shower and I was getting myself ready. It was really hard for me because I have so much animosity towards her. It's probably built up so much now that it's not very nice. I'll admit that much. Kristy said she was really sad she wasn't going to be able to be here for the shower. I told her I agreed. Then she told me a coworker had gall bladder surgery and that it just wasn't going to happen. I told her I didn't like it, but that's life. I was pretty frank, but could've said SO much more but didn't because she got the point of what I felt and I felt like I made myself clear. She herself brought up many more items than I would have. Finally I said it is what it is. She communicated that I couldn't possibly understand how hard it was for her. I think I absolutely can, but did not argue the point. Does that make me weak or strong? Sometimes I'm just not sure. The whole situation with my family is so frustrating. My perspective is that we up and moved to depend on them and here we are. On an island. There's always an excuse. ALWAYS. It's financial, it's work it's time, it's whatever you want to insert. Perhaps it sounds selfish and I certainly don't mean to be, but OMG, I really can't do it anymore. It was so much stress at first, but now it's beyond that. I'm not sure what to call it, but it's beyond that. So the conversation was fairly terse vs. combative. We hung up soon after. Kristy was crying. I was just frustrated.

5/12 - almost 35 weeks

Gained 21 lbs. C-Section still on for June 7. Told the Dr. no tubal. Very quick appointment. Still not feeling it with their staff which is unfortunate.

May - The beginning of the end...

First week of May. Changed my mind from getting a tubal. Chip will get a vasectomy. I communicate this to him via IM from the bedroom to the office. Sorta funny, but it's just the kind of geeks we are.

5/5 - Meme meets the boys! I was so excited and really appreciated the effort of my aunt Joyce, who is always busy. It was very important to me that since Meme is 94 years old that she meet her great grandsons. She's still amazingly active. They stayed about 20 min. It was so good to see her.

5/5 - Contacted our real estate agent Maria to see if it's prudent to short sell the Vegas houses. She indicated we'd have to tell our renters, which for Sweet Jewel was fine, but our other house is rented by a nice but young family who signed...but not really signed because they had issues with one clause...an 18 month lease. It bothers me to have to tell them. We opt to put it on hold for a little bit and figure out what we really want to do. Barely treading water and trying to pay everything will not continue to work long term. The home owners association is after us for mega fees for a "dead" lawn that we have pictures of it not being dead. What a mess.

5/6 - See a FBook post of Ron visiting Kristy. Ugh...I can't stand that guy. I have such strong feelings about him too. None of it good. Seems like more and more Reno trips from Kristy, but she never stops to visit. It's disheartening to know we moved here and that our adopted families from out of state come visit more often than my family that is either in town or at the very most 3 hours away.

5/7 - Christina surprises me with arrival for Mother's Day weekend. AWESOME! It was so great to see her. Always is. She's amazing and definitely a sister to me. The boys are incredibly happy to see their 'Nina. We take boys to the playground which was really windy, but still fun. It was great that Christina and Chip could play with them since it's harder and harder for me to move around as my belly continues to grow. The only hard part was seeing Christina go. Our visits are so fun and the boys are just so excited to hang out with her.

5/9 - It was a lovely Mother's Day. Chip brings Tuberose stems from Costco with great Mexican food and Costco CUPCAKES! Those cupcakes have been an obsession during this pregnancy. Definitely not healthy, but boy were they YUMILICIOUS! We had a wonderful night. My life is blessed with my wonderful husband. He does so much for our family and for me. Takes care of me during pregnancy and wrangles the little guys. We all do a lot, but he REALLY does a lot. I could not function without him and feel so fortunate to be married to him.

5/12 - Lunch with The Nugget girls. Amanda, Michelle, Christine and Audrey. Great gifts at Great Basin. We had a lovely lunch and nice little "Nugget Baby Shower". So many wonderful gifts. I so enjoy living here and having such good true friends. I do miss the few awesome friends I have in Vegas, but have met some really good people here. All these ladies are good eggs! Those are hard to come by.

34 wks, 5 days appointment...see next post.

Rest of April

My new company is an amazing company and I feel incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to work for them. I'm especially grateful that I was hired while pregnant and that the benefits package is so good that I do get 6 to 8 weeks paid leave. That's so rare these days. However, the job continues to be a bit challenging. I think I'm realizing that the company is growing really fast and restructuring at the same time, which has put a lot on the account managers. I think the other element is that I've been doing the same thing for 10 years and this is totally different...sorta. Distribution, but all points of distribution for hotels. It's really interesting to take it all in, but I find I am frustrated trying to remember all the processes and points that need to be touched in any given situation from a customer. From new hotels to using a highly customized version of SF.com, some days are really tough. Throw in an emotional pregnant lady and some days are SO not pretty. Some days have been exhausting. I also have a hard time working for this woman I report to. She seems to micromanage. Copy her on all emails? Lordy! be realistic!

I am finding that I'm becoming really bitter not seeing my family. Especially my mom and my sister. My sister seems to come and go to Reno and can't find time to stop when she has no choice but to pass my exit every time she is in town. Chip tells me to let it go, but it's not easy to know that we moved here for more support and it just hasn't happened. Lately I understand about my mom not being here because she was hired as a temp for the census. I'm excited for her because I know she can do it and be an independent person. She has struggled since my dad passed. Struggled in every aspect. Hopefully this will be a long enough term to help get things in order. I often wish I could do more for her. It's also a shame that when someone dies and doesn't have insurance that basically if the spouse didn't work that it's very difficult. Of course any sort of assistance takes forever if you're not in the system. It's rough.

April also brought a very pleasant surprise. J.F.'s mom reached out to me. I was surprised and happy. A few years ago she reached out as well and I wasn't ready and told her so. Now times are different, the girls are older and it's a much better time and place to have J.F.'s family in my life and in the girl's lives. They do need to know their family. To what extent I'm not sure yet, but they do need to know a select few. It has been really nice to begin to build a relationship. I'm not sure how to integrate this new relationship into the girl's life, but we'll find a way. It was surprising to hear the voice of support. For that I'm grateful. We'll see how things go as we communicate more. That looks like it might be a very good thing!