Friday, October 26, 2007

Family - this is a long one











There has been so many events that have happened since I posted the homecoming of Gary on October 5. On October 11, 2007, my dad, Gary, suddenly passed away from a heart attack at Carson Tahoe Medical Center. He had been fighting bladder cancer and starting chemotherapy on October 9. He was struggling to breathe when the first treatment was almost done. Soon after he went to the E/R and went into the hospital. Things quickly went from bad to worse. Between 10/9 and 10/11 we were all informed that Gary’s cancer had spread to his lungs. Sadly, it was too much for his heart in addition to his diabetes. His passing was quick and very unexpected. After arriving in Reno as soon as I heard the news and could get a flight, my family and I went to Winnemucca to make arrangements and bury him. It is a difficult time for all of us, certainly for my mom. Oddly enough, his passing occurred 4 months to the day of his surgery to remove his bladder and the initial cancer. A favorite photo of my mom’s of my dad is posted above in his honor. There is so much I could say and stories I could share about how great my dad was. What I would like to say is that he was a wonderful man who loved his family and the outdoors. I will be forever grateful that my dad had been well enough to be in Las Vegas with us when the boys were born and could see them and hold them. I am sad that he won’t be here to pass on the his love of hunting and the outdoors himself to our boys, the rest of my family will pass that on in his honor and memory. I know that he is smiling down on our little miracles every day. October 25 would have been his 65th birthday. It was a hard day, but one we also celebrated his life. I’m happy to have had him in my life for almost 30 years. My life, I am certain would have turned out much differently had he not been a part of it. I think the rest of my family feels the same. I miss him dearly already, but am peaceful that he passed quickly and did not have to suffer through his cancer. He was not that kind of man. He would’ve rather have been enjoying his last days with my niece Tiffany, helping her shoot her first deer. Grandma and I took her out but didn’t see anything. A few days later her dad took her out and she did it! I’m sure grandpa was with her proudly smiling a huge smile from above! She got a buck, as she would not settle for a doe, knowing that Grandpa wanted a buck. She was ready and it was great that grandpa took her shooting just before he went back to Reno for treatment. None of us would have ever guessed that he wouldn’t come home.

My mom decided to come back to Vegas for awhile, so we have an additional hand to help us with these babies who keep us really busy! I drove back with her on Oct. 22 after helping close up her house and prepare to be away however long works for her. It must be bittersweet to move through the house, to feel his presence and know that he is gone, but yet there are the memories that my mom - all of us - will have forever in our hearts.

During the time I was in Winnemucca helping my family make arrangements, the boys were here with their dad. He and Christina took great care. Fred and Celia were here for a few days and lent a very much needed hand as well. Bunny came back out from Florida to help too. We can’t thank the Horton family enough for all the love and support they’ve give the Las Vegas McVeys and the rest of my family during this difficult time and before the babies to prepare. Christina and Chip are baby experts now! Nothing like trial by fire! We appreciate so much all the people who were here and are here to help and support us.

I was away for 11 days. Boy these babies GREW! I also missed the circumcision appointment, which was a relief to me. Chip, Bunny and Celia managed that task and did a fine job. :) It’s so good to have people in our life that will step right up. Each boy is well over 6 lbs. now. All are doing so well, eating 4+ ounces at a feeding. Now we are trying to get them to sleep all night so we can get some sleep! Until then, my mom and Christina are doing morning duty and Chip and I are doing night duty. We get to bed at about 3 a.m. I feel fortunate to get 6 hours of sleep at a time. I wouldn’t change it for a minute! It truly takes all 4 of us to take care of these boys. Everyone does whatever needs to be done and do a great job.

I’ve realized with my dad’s death to rethink my priorities. It’s sad that it takes an event like this to push us to evaluate what is the most important. I find myself pondering what are my true passions? What makes me happy? What is best for my family? How can I both do and be better? It also makes me think of the simple things like taking more pictures. During making arrangements with my family for my dad’s funeral, putting together a memorial slide show, that I had very few pictures of my dad and I and no pictures of the girls and my dad. I was very sad when we chose the photos to put in, but Chip came to my rescue and looked through many old photos to find a few with me and dad. Luckily, there are some pictures of dad and the boys, even though in the pictures you can see that he didn’t feel well. I now am painfully aware of how important these simple things are. I also will try harder to tell those I love that I love them and show that better with my actions, despite being really hormonal after having the boys.

I went for my last check with my OB doctor and have been “cleared” as healing well after the delivery. There is still quite a big bruise on my belly. It looks much better than a month ago though. Good news for sure but he also reminded me that it will be probably a year before my body is completely recovered. It’s surprising because it seems like 7 weeks is so long ago, that I should be back to normal now. It’s easy to forget how much harder it is to recover from both a c-section and a multiple birth. The whole experience of the pregnancy and the birth has been surreal to say the least. I have mixed feelings when I reflect on it and it is noticeable in my emotions. Love, frustration, pain, happiness, relief and a little sad that it’s over. I am fighting some postpartum depression, but am also aware that I need to take care of myself and am taking appropriate action. Some people around me may disagree with me but all is OK for the time being.

Other than that, the other news is that I will need to go back to work on 11/9/07. I’m a little sad about that, but am grateful, no very thankful, that both Chip and I work from home. It is the best possible scenario that we could have with these little guys. Sounds like so far work is pretty flexible. Time will tell how it will be since our team has gained another market manager which is good! Not sure how much I’ll be able to travel so that will be a factor. We’ll see what the future holds.

Friday, October 5, 2007

Little Gary...AT HOME AT LAST!




Gary is home at last!!!

2 days before, did tests for aspiration of food into the lungs and to confirm reflux. Mary Beth was there and Allison from Speech Therapy along with myself and Gary’s nurse Trish who is AWESOME! Power struggle between Cruz and the radiologist. I stepped in with strong words. Dr. Cruz won, but not before the radiology director joined us to “oversee” the situation. Again, lovely aspects of healthcare! Ridiculous, but it got resolved. Makes me feel strong to step in and be our son’s advocate.

Dr. Cruz prescribed Reglan for reflux. Also discovered Anemia. Gary needs a transfusion. Transfused on 10/3. Did not eat from 8:30 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. Added rice to his milk to thicken and prevent reflux, but not a guarantee. Gary will stay on Enfamil EnfaCare 22 calorie to help him continue to heal and support his growth.

Took all day to discharge us. I was at the hospital from 11:30 a.m. until 5:30 p.m. waiting to go home. Finally I took Gary home and it is fantastic to have our babies with us all the time now.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

First Pediatrician Appointment


We had our first appointment for Ben and Ryan today. We saw Dr. Conti, our pediatrician. It was an incredibly long wait...frustrating for us parents. We fed the boys and listened as people ooohhed and ahhed over our “twins”. I felt a little sad that Little Gary wasn’t with us, but soon enough, I am sure!

Ryan now weighs 5 lbs., 4 oz. and is 18 inches long. Ben is 4 lbs., 14 oz. and is 17 3/4 inches long. WOW! Go boys!

After about 45 minutes we were called into a room and waited for another 45 minutes or so. Finally Dr. Conti came in. That’s the hard part. Once we got his attention, it was fantastic. He spent a good amount of time with us and we discussed sleeping, eating and everything else to expect with the little ones. He checked the boys and all is good. W e are trying Conti’s sleep method, which is called EAZ, for Eat (3 oz. during the day, one big feeding of 4 to 6 oz. of formula at midnight), Awake and Sleep, which is Eat food (3 oz. during the day, one big feeding of 4 to 6 oz. of formula at midnight), stay Awake for 30 to 60 minutes after and then let them sleep for 3 hours during the day, but 6 hours at night (from midnight to 6 a.m.). We’ll see if we can achieve 6 hours of sleep within a month or so. That would be great for mommy and daddy, I just hope the boys are ready for it. We talked about my dread with circumcision....I just can’t be there and the Dr. assured me that the boys wouldn’t even cry. We need to get it done within the next 30 days or so. I will wait outside and leave that to the big boy, doctor and the little boys. Conti wants us to switch formula to Enfamil Lipil 20 calorie formula after we finish the high calorie food (current formula is Enfamil Enfacare 22 calorie). The doctor also let us know that our babies should be looked at as “full term” babies now. He wants us to move forward on that path. Dr. Conti also talked to us about how difficult managing triplets will be. Scary. Very scary to me.

Dr. Conti spoke to us about little Gary too and his infection. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Summerlin was in contact with him to let him know what was going on since most of the time one hand can’t help the other between health care workers in the same department at the same facility! Good to know that at least he had pertinent information and could talk with us. He indicated that the infection was very serious but treatable.

The office was really busy, and the staff all wanted to see the twins. Lots of people commented that our babies are “so small”. They are growing so fast, they look big to us, however full term babies look gigantic next to our little guys. We also asked for formula samples and they gave us 2 cases. I was so happy they were willing to oblige us!

We will go back in a month for more immunizations and a check up for all 3. We also need to have little Gary checked out when he comes home, sometime next week.

It was a good experience, I just hope we won’t be leaving a 2:00 p.m. appointment at 4:30 p.m. next time.