(This post is long and graphically talks about childbirth)
I had just posted a couple of days ago and was complaining about my uncomfortable self...well, I woke up at 4 a.m. or so on Thursday, June 3. Pretty soon I felt my back hurt. Contractions. Not too bad then. Called the doctor about 5 or so after waking Chip to tell him something was up. Dr. Najima told me to take a shower, take some Tylenol and see if I felt better. She had asked me about my last appointment, which had been the day before. Dr. F. was confident I would make it to my scheduled c-section date of June 7. His position was if I carried triplets to 34 weeks, he felt fairly certain I could carry this little guy until 39 weeks.
After awhile, around 6:30 or so the contractions were far more intense and coming much closer together. Neither Chip nor I was prepared for the morning we were about to have. I was in pain and felt sure that today would be the day that I would have a c-section and then the fun would begin with the healing process and stumbling through having 4 kids under the age of 3 along with all of our other day to day things that with triplets just never seemed to get done. At least I wouldn't be pregnant anymore. That was a plus.
Within the next hour or so, the contractions were so painful and probably no more than 5 minutes apart. I told Chip to call Brandi. He called her. In the meantime I tried to put stuff in a bag and so did Chip. We weren't prepared and I was hoping that it would take my mind off the fact that I was in incredible pain every 5 minutes for approximately 1 minute. It felt like every minute until Brandi arrived to care for the boys was an eternity. She arrived at about 7:30. We left immediately. I had also called the doctor again and said we were on our way.
Unfortunately for us, Vista, our main street out of Red Hawk was being widened and much of it was down to one lane. Chip went up and over the hill. I was in agony sitting in the car seat and again, it felt like an eternity as we stared at the Raley's parking lot, I squeezed his hand off during a contraction and he went for it and tried to go through the parking lot, but ROAD CLOSED!!! Oh my god, I felt like I was going to die with every bump and stop and go. Of course it has to be during rush hour traffic as well. It was truly all I could do to not scream at him to drive faster. Either scream at him or the traffic. I didn't do either, but boy it was hard. So as fast as we could...roughly 40 minutes we arrived at Renown. We checked in at 8:10. I was standing and trying to walk. It was hard, but it was better than sitting. I was still thinking they'd take me right in and get this c-section going...oh no, that was not to be.
I met Erin and Robin (delivery nurses) right away. I stripped down and was begging for drugs to help take the edge off the contractions. They did give me some fentanyl via IV to take the edge off of my contractions. Immediately I was loopy, but better. It didn't take the pain away, but at least took the edge off. Then my doctor came in. Dr. F wasn't the warmest guy, but I totally felt great about his quality of care. He was just fairly procedural. Chip called it scientific. I think he's spot on. Anyway, the nurse had checked me at about 8:20 and I was dilated to 4-5 centimeters and about 80% effaced. 20 minutes later I was dilated to 8 centimeters. I was fighting contraction pain and the kick of the fentanyl wasn't touching the pain. By now, my delivery team and doctor tell me that there's really no time for a c-section and we'll go for a VBAC. I asked for an epidural and was hanging on for the anethesiologist to come in after being in a c-section. Meanwhile I was yelling pretty loud. I felt a little embarrassed, but the pain was so great it just happened with each contraction. Chip was right there and held my hand as I tried to keep control of myself with each contraction. I'm fairly sure that I squeezed it pretty hard.
The next thing I know my water breaks. Well...no epidural. Everything will be natural and should happen within a short time. I was panicking in my mind because I had not prepared myself for natural childbirth. In my mind, it was supposed to be methodic and scheduled. I was most concerned about my recovery and having small children. I asked nurse Erin what it would be like. She said "think ring of fire". I said aloud "I don't know if I can do this" and started to cry. Still trying manage getting through contractions that seemed to be one after another. Meanwhile, my doctor was there for quite some time and didn't say much. That was a little strange, but he was watching and waiting. Robin and Erin were very much in control of the situation. Chip was still letting me squeeze his hand off and talking to me. Telling me that I COULD do it. Then it was time to push. I was yelling my head off. I would make it through that contraction and felt bad for about 2 seconds. I remember apologizing for being so noisy. Then it came again. My body seemed to do what it was supposed to do. Erin and Robin were telling me to hold my breath. I was crying and yelling at the same time. I couldn't put it all together in my mind to make it all work. It felt surreal. I could hear everything, or at least I felt like I could, but I couldn't follow the instructions of anyone. Perhaps at that point my doctor said something, but I'm not sure. I could understand what was being said. The execution wasn't there. So after a bit more time I could hear Erin telling me to try to not scream, but to hold my breathe and use that force. I finally tried to focus on that. I went for it and I could sort of hear Chip telling me I was almost there. I tried again with all the force I had. Then once again. Then I see this baby on me. He had a full head of dark hair, wet and curly. His little cry made me cry. He was born at 9:17 a.m. and weighed in at a hefty 7 lbs. 10 oz. The biggest baby I've ever had.
I felt immediate relief physically, but was incredibly emotional. Chip cut the cord and little Carter was out in the world! From there on, it was an odd experience because I had Kaitlyn and Gillian vaginally, but had epidurals. So it was both painful and a new experience to have all the after stuff that happens going on. Some stitches were needed. That was somewhat painful, but my doctor was generous with the local every time I complained. I was so wrapped up in everything else, that I didn't realize that all of the events from walking into the hospital to the completion of the birth was approximately 1 hour and 10 minutes. Before long I was transferred to postpartum. Audrey was our first visitor and brought a little platypus for Carter that is blue with huge eyes. It's cute. She brought a turkey sandwich for Chip. I was starving by then, but nothing looked too appealing.
When I went to postpartum, it was to a wing of the hospital that was typically closed because all other rooms were being used. It looked fairly dated and was small. Poor Chip had a cot which didn't look very comfy. The hospital bed wasn't all that great either, but both of us were tired. I was a little disappointed because I had heard that there were "suites" and this definitely was not what I would classify as a suite. A few hours later we were moved and it was a beautiful suite with a great view and very spacious. The convertible bed for Chip really didn't look any more comfortable than the cot. In fact it looked more firm. The poor guy still managed to sleep on it. He had gone home for a few hours to check on the boys and be there until bed time. It was good that he could. I was incredibly grateful to not have had a c-section and be dealing with a surgical recovery.
I found myself very emotional as the night wore on. I've struggled with depression and particularly after my babies. It was a bit of the aftermath of birth and the surges of hormones I think. There were just so many thoughts running through my head that I couldn't seem to shut off. My night nurse Shelly came in to check on me and ended up staying for quite awhile. She shared with me her postpartum depression experience. There was a lot of weeping from me. We shared our histories and it just meant so much to me to connect with her. Every single person I came in contact with from the engineer who fixed the TV to the CNAs and nurses were so compassionate and just really nice. It was a far cry from the nursing staff in Vegas when we had the boys.
We decided to head home the next day instead of staying 2 days in the hospital. I was really unsure about that, but also felt the need to be at home.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
6/2 - 38 1/2 weeks...1st week off of work for maternity leave
Miserable. In pain. Can't sleep....same as most women. I shouldn't complain, but wow, not fun.
Glad to be on leave, but feel very insecure about work. I think it's a little separation anxiety. A little bit of guilt over not getting more done. Still have an expense report and a few other items to finish.
Still about 22lbs. weight gain and craving sugar and Mexican food. Well, I guess you can call Del Taco "Mexican Food".
Last doctor's appointment today...we're in the home stretch. Thank god!
Glad to be on leave, but feel very insecure about work. I think it's a little separation anxiety. A little bit of guilt over not getting more done. Still have an expense report and a few other items to finish.
Still about 22lbs. weight gain and craving sugar and Mexican food. Well, I guess you can call Del Taco "Mexican Food".
Last doctor's appointment today...we're in the home stretch. Thank god!
6/1 - Little boy milestones....
Ben sat on the potty tonight and little, itty bitty poo ended up in the frog potty. It's very humorous really, but he was wailing like crazy because daddy slapped him on the pot when he appeared to be trying to poop. It's crazy around here where poop is concerned. Each boy judges the other as to whether or not they "took a dump" "so and so has a nuuuuuuuget". Sometimes RyRy just has a "tail". Daddy has made it a game and it's funny. What's not so funny is the diaper rash and the constipation that we continually suffer. We should have bought stock in the MiraLax company.
We are so proud of Ben for sitting on the potty, but man he wailed the whole way. Even when we rewarded with M&Ms and a Hershey bar. Holy crap he had melted chocolate all over his hand, still crying and it became sorta comical. Ryan was crying with sympathy and Gary was hurrying right out of his diaper to get M&Ms. It was so funny but yet mixed with mayhem and chaos all at once.
Before all of this, Chip went to get them up this morning and since we've changed the room into toddler beds only. I mean just toddler beds, a couple of blankets, one stuffed animal and milk cups. Somehow they managed to move the beds to the center of the room. The beds no longer have wheels on the bottom. I couldn't believe it myself.
So back to bedtime we go. Boys go to bed and screw off. Slamming the blinds open and closed because that's all there is in the room. Flipping the mattress over to the wrong side. Again, because that's all there is in the room. No dresser, no nothing. So Chip goes up when the noise level was getting elevated. What do you know...beds in smashed in the corner and 2 of 3 boys with full diapers. Now it's only been about 1 hour since they went to bed. Everyone clean, blankets and goodnight kisses.
Chip and I look at each other and wonder what the hell we're doing. It keeps us so busy it's exhausting. Throw in jobs, the girls who aren't here and one more on the way...oh MY goodness. It seems almost too much for us. We wearily eat dinner, which is usually cheese and crackers, cereal, or some frozen thing and vegetate in front of the TV. Here it is almost 10:30 and we're in bed, trying to geek out, watch TV and rest a little before we start again tomorrow. Every day is very similar to today. Sometimes they are so much worse. The whining and crying drive me crazy and hauling my pregnant self around makes it pretty unpleasant.
I still believe without a doubt that I would not change a thing. Every day is a challenge some days worse than others. I love having this family, but man. I need to vent...thank you blog for my little place in the world to talk it out of my head.
We are so proud of Ben for sitting on the potty, but man he wailed the whole way. Even when we rewarded with M&Ms and a Hershey bar. Holy crap he had melted chocolate all over his hand, still crying and it became sorta comical. Ryan was crying with sympathy and Gary was hurrying right out of his diaper to get M&Ms. It was so funny but yet mixed with mayhem and chaos all at once.
Before all of this, Chip went to get them up this morning and since we've changed the room into toddler beds only. I mean just toddler beds, a couple of blankets, one stuffed animal and milk cups. Somehow they managed to move the beds to the center of the room. The beds no longer have wheels on the bottom. I couldn't believe it myself.
So back to bedtime we go. Boys go to bed and screw off. Slamming the blinds open and closed because that's all there is in the room. Flipping the mattress over to the wrong side. Again, because that's all there is in the room. No dresser, no nothing. So Chip goes up when the noise level was getting elevated. What do you know...beds in smashed in the corner and 2 of 3 boys with full diapers. Now it's only been about 1 hour since they went to bed. Everyone clean, blankets and goodnight kisses.
Chip and I look at each other and wonder what the hell we're doing. It keeps us so busy it's exhausting. Throw in jobs, the girls who aren't here and one more on the way...oh MY goodness. It seems almost too much for us. We wearily eat dinner, which is usually cheese and crackers, cereal, or some frozen thing and vegetate in front of the TV. Here it is almost 10:30 and we're in bed, trying to geek out, watch TV and rest a little before we start again tomorrow. Every day is very similar to today. Sometimes they are so much worse. The whining and crying drive me crazy and hauling my pregnant self around makes it pretty unpleasant.
I still believe without a doubt that I would not change a thing. Every day is a challenge some days worse than others. I love having this family, but man. I need to vent...thank you blog for my little place in the world to talk it out of my head.
Memorial Day Weekend - 5/31
Girls are here! It's been since April 4 since I've seen them. ..fight with Kaitlyn over her hair.
I'm totally nesting. Got all the baby clothes washed and things sort of cleaned out. Chip was concerned at all I was doing, but I just felt like I needed to do it.
We didn't go to Winnemucca. It was just too hard to cart everyone over there. I was a bit sad because I wanted to go to the cemetery. It's been a year. The other part of the sadness is that I really wanted to see my grandparents. Last year over Memorial Day was the last time and I'm not sure when we'll be able to see them again. I tried to Skype with Grammy, but mom's bandwidth was just difficult. It was all pixelated. At least she got to see the boys. Especially Ryan. He was a ham and said "Hi Grammy"! Kari and Heather were there since Heather is moving to the Sacramento area. They came through town after the weekend, but never stopped or sent a message. That was a bummer. I can understand that they weren't going to stop since Garrett and River were with them, but a message would have been nice. I emailed with Kari after and shared my feelings. That's enough.
Girls spent a good amount of time with their friends, but it was fantastic to spend time as a family as well. It was the beginning weekend of my maternity leave off. I did a lot, probably more than I should have. It was all nesting I'm sure.
Took the boys to the park both days. It was great, but tiring for me.
Fired up the fire pit for the first time in 2 years! Had a great time making s'mores. It was really nice to do that with just the girls and their friends.
Made the executive decision to buy a grill. Kaitlyn and I went to Lowe's and did some other errands. Lowe's had them pre assembled, so away we went!
As always it was very hard to take the girls to the airport. Flight delayed and a lot of sitting. I'm very uncomfortable these days, but wow...I feel a lot of guilt over moving. I feel guilt because of the time I miss with them, the disconnection that I often feel and constant coming and going on my end. Perhaps this decision was not a good one. I think I'm feeling some very strong emotions right now, but damn it I just don't know what to do next about the girls. Instinctually I want to fight for them and never stop. However, I feel guilty over not paying child support yet. I have asked for a payment plan. Then the anger sets in from their father not paying for so many years. Arrrgghhh! It's just too much. Right now may not be the best time to be thinking about this....
I'm totally nesting. Got all the baby clothes washed and things sort of cleaned out. Chip was concerned at all I was doing, but I just felt like I needed to do it.
We didn't go to Winnemucca. It was just too hard to cart everyone over there. I was a bit sad because I wanted to go to the cemetery. It's been a year. The other part of the sadness is that I really wanted to see my grandparents. Last year over Memorial Day was the last time and I'm not sure when we'll be able to see them again. I tried to Skype with Grammy, but mom's bandwidth was just difficult. It was all pixelated. At least she got to see the boys. Especially Ryan. He was a ham and said "Hi Grammy"! Kari and Heather were there since Heather is moving to the Sacramento area. They came through town after the weekend, but never stopped or sent a message. That was a bummer. I can understand that they weren't going to stop since Garrett and River were with them, but a message would have been nice. I emailed with Kari after and shared my feelings. That's enough.
Girls spent a good amount of time with their friends, but it was fantastic to spend time as a family as well. It was the beginning weekend of my maternity leave off. I did a lot, probably more than I should have. It was all nesting I'm sure.
Took the boys to the park both days. It was great, but tiring for me.
Fired up the fire pit for the first time in 2 years! Had a great time making s'mores. It was really nice to do that with just the girls and their friends.
Made the executive decision to buy a grill. Kaitlyn and I went to Lowe's and did some other errands. Lowe's had them pre assembled, so away we went!
As always it was very hard to take the girls to the airport. Flight delayed and a lot of sitting. I'm very uncomfortable these days, but wow...I feel a lot of guilt over moving. I feel guilt because of the time I miss with them, the disconnection that I often feel and constant coming and going on my end. Perhaps this decision was not a good one. I think I'm feeling some very strong emotions right now, but damn it I just don't know what to do next about the girls. Instinctually I want to fight for them and never stop. However, I feel guilty over not paying child support yet. I have asked for a payment plan. Then the anger sets in from their father not paying for so many years. Arrrgghhh! It's just too much. Right now may not be the best time to be thinking about this....
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
5/19 - First potty sit and family dinner
Today was quite the day. The boys are getting so big! Gary sat on the potty all by himself with NO diaper. Surely this is mundane for most, but not in our house! It was a milestone for us. This prompted a huge temper tantrum from Ben because Gary got M&Ms for sitting on the potty. He wailed for probably 20 minutes. The other two boys are completely mortified of sitting on the potty. It's sorta funny, but then again not because they are so terrified. For the life of me I can't figure out why. Chip has taken them into the bathroom and shown them how it was done. Ever since the boys really haven't wanted anything to do with potty. I even bought 3 different potty chairs to make it more fun. I'm not sure what else to try. They seem to be unable to put it all together. Gary however loved the glory today and sat on all 3 potty chairs with a naked but. Ironically he was wearing a shirt that said "Future President" that Christina brought for them from D.C. It was pretty cute.
We also had another first. Dinner at the table with the 5 of us. It was simple. Basically hamburger stroganoff with veggies and mushrooms thrown in. Poured over the top of wheat egg noodles. It didn't even really taste fantastic, but it was a moment that we hadn't experienced yet. It didn't seem to phase them. The boys were all over the map. Talking constantly and saying funny things. It cracked Chip and I up. They spent a fair amount of time saying "more bootie" and "more noodles". We kept telling them to "stab your noodles".
We ended the evening with chocolate cupcake from Costco. I've been craving them, so they are in the fridge from Mother's Day. I like the white cake so the boys get the chocolate ones. They're to die for! Anyway, we brushed their teeth after. All of them enjoyed that which was great.
It all then fell apart. Gary threw a fit over putting his pajamas on. Chip had him all but pinned to the floor. He was kicking and screaming the whole way. Of course then Ryan went off because he was scared for Gary. Ben was quiet, but then again he had his moment earlier in the day. It's so crazy to hear them wail. It's like fingernails down a chalkboard for 30 minutes at a time. All three carried on for at least that long at least once, probably more like twice each.
We also had another first. Dinner at the table with the 5 of us. It was simple. Basically hamburger stroganoff with veggies and mushrooms thrown in. Poured over the top of wheat egg noodles. It didn't even really taste fantastic, but it was a moment that we hadn't experienced yet. It didn't seem to phase them. The boys were all over the map. Talking constantly and saying funny things. It cracked Chip and I up. They spent a fair amount of time saying "more bootie" and "more noodles". We kept telling them to "stab your noodles".
We ended the evening with chocolate cupcake from Costco. I've been craving them, so they are in the fridge from Mother's Day. I like the white cake so the boys get the chocolate ones. They're to die for! Anyway, we brushed their teeth after. All of them enjoyed that which was great.
It all then fell apart. Gary threw a fit over putting his pajamas on. Chip had him all but pinned to the floor. He was kicking and screaming the whole way. Of course then Ryan went off because he was scared for Gary. Ben was quiet, but then again he had his moment earlier in the day. It's so crazy to hear them wail. It's like fingernails down a chalkboard for 30 minutes at a time. All three carried on for at least that long at least once, probably more like twice each.
5/19 - almost 37 weeks...can June 7 get here any faster?
Lost 3 lbs. Gained a total of 22 lbs. Belly and back are just incredibly painful. Works is busy. Preparing to go on maternity leave on June 1.
Not craving sugar as much, really loving Del Taco. Makes no sense, but it's true.
Not craving sugar as much, really loving Del Taco. Makes no sense, but it's true.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
5/15 - Fabulous Baby Shower!
Mom and I headed to Chris's around noon. What an amazing day! The weather was beautiful!
I was so looking forward to seeing Chris, Joyce and everyone else. I was so happy that Mom could come too. Chris sparkled, as she always does and had prepared wonderful food. The table was set so beautifully. Someday I aspire to be able to do that...
Kenna, Audrey, Michelle M. and Michelle Farren along with Chris, Joyce and Tami shared our afternoon. Time flew. More beautiful baby gifts. Everyone has done so much for us. It fills my heart. Just incredible to be able to visit and talk about a ton of stuff from the weather to working together.
Chip hung out with the boys at home and had a great day too. Again, wonderful husband takes it on and does it flawlessly. I on the other hand could not do much without him. And as I've been told "I don't do anything except work and travel". This has become a running joke in our house now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
