Memorial Day Weekend - 5/31

Girls are here! It's been since April 4 since I've seen them. ..fight with Kaitlyn over her hair.

I'm totally nesting. Got all the baby clothes washed and things sort of cleaned out. Chip was concerned at all I was doing, but I just felt like I needed to do it.

We didn't go to Winnemucca. It was just too hard to cart everyone over there. I was a bit sad because I wanted to go to the cemetery. It's been a year. The other part of the sadness is that I really wanted to see my grandparents. Last year over Memorial Day was the last time and I'm not sure when we'll be able to see them again. I tried to Skype with Grammy, but mom's bandwidth was just difficult. It was all pixelated. At least she got to see the boys. Especially Ryan. He was a ham and said "Hi Grammy"! Kari and Heather were there since Heather is moving to the Sacramento area. They came through town after the weekend, but never stopped or sent a message. That was a bummer. I can understand that they weren't going to stop since Garrett and River were with them, but a message would have been nice. I emailed with Kari after and shared my feelings. That's enough.

Girls spent a good amount of time with their friends, but it was fantastic to spend time as a family as well. It was the beginning weekend of my maternity leave off. I did a lot, probably more than I should have. It was all nesting I'm sure.

Took the boys to the park both days. It was great, but tiring for me.

Fired up the fire pit for the first time in 2 years! Had a great time making s'mores. It was really nice to do that with just the girls and their friends.

Made the executive decision to buy a grill. Kaitlyn and I went to Lowe's and did some other errands. Lowe's had them pre assembled, so away we went!

As always it was very hard to take the girls to the airport. Flight delayed and a lot of sitting. I'm very uncomfortable these days, but wow...I feel a lot of guilt over moving. I feel guilt because of the time I miss with them, the disconnection that I often feel and constant coming and going on my end. Perhaps this decision was not a good one. I think I'm feeling some very strong emotions right now, but damn it I just don't know what to do next about the girls. Instinctually I want to fight for them and never stop. However, I feel guilty over not paying child support yet. I have asked for a payment plan. Then the anger sets in from their father not paying for so many years. Arrrgghhh! It's just too much. Right now may not be the best time to be thinking about this....